'What did you name them?' said Mr Thumpy, who wasn't the kind of rabbit that forgot a grudge. 'Mr Snappy
'Yeah, I want this cleared up right now,' squeaked the mouse. 'Back home I was top mouse. I could lick any other mouse in the house. I want a proper name, kid. Anyone calls me Squeaky Boots', he looked up at Victor, 'is asking for a head shaped like a frying pan, do I make myself clear?'
The duck quacked at length.
'Hold it,' said Gaspode. 'The thing is, the duck says,' said Gaspode, 'that all this is part of the same thing. Humans and trolls and everything coming here. Animals suddenly talking. The duck says he thinks it's caused by something here.'
'How does a duck know that?' said Victor.
'Look, friend,' said the rabbit, 'when you can fly all the way across the sea and even end up finding the same bloody continent, you can start badmouthing ducks.'
'Oh,' said Victor. 'You mean mysterious animal senses, yes?'
They glared at him.
'Anyway, it's got to stop,' said Gaspode. 'All this cogitatin' and talkin' is all -right for you humans. You're used to it. Fing is, see, someone's got to find out what's causin' all this . . . '
They carried on glaring at him.
'Well,' he said, vaguely, 'maybe the book can help? The early bits are in some sort of ancient language. I can't-,' he paused. Wizards weren't welcomed in Holy Wood. It probably wasn't a good idea to mention the University, or his small part in it. 'That is,' he continued, choosing his words with care, 'I think I know someone in AnkhMorpork who might be able to read it. He's an animal, too. An ape.'
'How's he in the mysterious senses department?' said Gaspode.
'He's red hot on mysterious senses,' said Victor.
'In that case-' said the rabbit.
'Hold it,' said Gaspode. 'Someone's coming.'
A moving torch was visible coming up the hill. The duck rocketed clumsily into the sir and glided away. The others disappeared into the shadows. Only the dog didn't move.
'Aren't you going to make yourself scarce?' Victor hissed.
Gaspode raised an eyebrow.
'Woof?' he said.
The torch zig-zagged erratically among the scrub, like a firefly. Sometimes it would stop for a moment, and then wander away in some totally new direction. It was very bright.
'What is it?' said Victor.
Gaspode sniffed. 'Human,' he said. 'Female. Wearin' cheap scent.' His nose twitched again. 'It's called Passion's Plaything.' He sniffed again. 'Fresh laundry, no starch. Old shoes. Lot of studio make-up. She's been in Borgle's and had-' his nose twitched '-stoo. Not a big plate.'
'I suppose you can tell how tall she is, can you?' said Victor.
'She smells about five foot two, two and a half,' hazarded Gaspode.
'Oh, come on!'
'Walk a mile on these paws and call me a liar.'
Victor kicked sand over his little fire and strolled down the slope.
The light stopped moving as he approached it. For a moment he got a glimpse of a female figure clasping a shawl around her with one hand holding the torch high above her head. Then the light vanished so quickly it left blue and purple after-images dancing across his vision. Behind them, a small figure made a blacker shadow against the dusk.
It said, 'What are you doing in my . . . what am I . . . why are you in . . . where . . . ,' and then, as if it had finally got to grips with the situation, changed gear and in a much more familiar voice demanded, 'What are you doing here?'
'Ginger?' said Victor.