Moving Pictures (Discworld 10)

'Maybe you ought to send Delores de Syn out there, then,' he said.

'How can I do that?' she demanded.

'Well . . . why not pretend it's a click .

The Dibblers, uncle and nephew, exchanged glances. Then Soll cupped his hands around his face like the eye of a picture box and Dibbler, after a prompting nudge, placed one hand on his nephew's head and turned an invisible handle in his ear.

'Action!' he directed.

The carriage door swung open.

The crowd gasped, like a mountain breathing in. Victor stepped out, reached up, took Ginger's hand . . .

The crowd cheered, madly.

The Lecturer in Recent Runes bit his fingers in sheer excitement. The Chair made a strange hoarse noise in the back of his throat.

'You know you said what could a boy find to do that was better than being a wizard?' he said.

'A true wizard should only be interested in one thing,' muttered the Dean. 'You know that.'

'Oh, I know it.'

'I was referring to magic.'

The Chair peered at the advancing figures.

'You know, that is young Victor. I'll swear it,' he said.

'That's disgusting,' said the Dean. 'Fancy choosing to hang around young women when he could have been a wizard.'

'Yeah. What a fool,' said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, who was having trouble with his breathing.

There was a sort of communal sigh.

'You got to admit she's a bit of a corker, though,' said the Chair.

'I'm an old man and if someone doesn't let me see very soon,' said a cracked voice behind them, 'someone's going to be feeling the wrong end of, mm, my stick, all right?'

Two of the wizards edged aside and eased the wheelchair through. Once moving, it coasted right up to the edge of the carpet, bruising any knees or ankles that stood in its way.

Poons' mouth fell open.

Ginger gripped Victor's hand.

'There's a group of fat old men in false beards waving at you over there,' she said through clenched and grinning teeth.

'Yes, I think they're wizards,' Victor grinned back.

'One of them keeps bouncing up and down in his wheelchair and shouting things like “Way-hey!” and “Whoopwhoop!” and “Hubbahubba!” '

'That's the oldest wizard in the world,' said Victor. He waved at a fat lady in the crowd, who fainted.

'Good grief! What was he like fifty years ago?'

'Well, for one thing he was eighty.[25] Don't blow him a kiss!'

The crowd roared its approval.