Moving Pictures (Discworld 10)

'It's deliquescing,' said the Lecturer in Recent Runes.

'Is it?' said the Chair. 'I thought that it was some kind of shop.'

He prodded it with his foot.

'Careful,' said the Dean. 'That is not dead which can eternal lie.'

The Chair studied it.

'It looks bloody dead to me,' he said. 'Hang on - there's something moving-'

One of the outflung tentacles slumped aside.

'Did it land on someone?' said the Dean.

It did. They pulled out the twitching body of Ponder Stibbons, and prodded and patted him in a well-meant way until he opened his eyes.

'What happened?' he said.

'A fifty-foot monster fell on you,' said the Dean, simply. 'Are you, er, all right?'

'I only wanted one drink,' Ponder muttered. 'I'd have come straight back, honest.'

'What are you talking about, lad?'

Ponder ignored him. He got up, swaying a bit, and staggered off towards the Great Hall, and never, ever, went out again.

'Funny chap,' said the Chair. They looked back down at the Thing, which had nearly dissolved.

' 'Twas beauty killed the beast,' said the Dean, who liked to say things like that.

'No it wasn't,' said the Chair. 'It was it splatting into the ground like that.'

The Librarian sat up and rubbed his head.

The book was thrust in front of his eyes.

'Read it!' said Victor.

'Oook.'

'Please!'

The ape opened it at a page of pictograms. He blinked at them for a moment. Then his finger went to the bottom right-hand comer of the page and began to trace the signs from right to left.

Right to left.

That was how you were supposed to read them, Victor thought.

Which meant that he'd been exactly wrong all the time.

Gaffer the handleman panned his picture box along the row of wizards and then down to the rapidly-dissolving monster.

The handle stopped turning. He raised his head and gave everyone a bright smile.

'If you could just bunch up tighter, gentlemen?' he said. The wizards obediently shuffled even closer. 'The light's not very good.'

Soll wrote down, 'Wizards Joking at the Corepse, take 3,' on a piece of card.