“I feel a right twit,” said Bestiality Carter, Lancre's only baker. “A dress on! I just hope my wife doesn't see me!”
“Says here,” said Jason Ogg, his enormous forefinger hesitantly tracing its way along the page, “that it's a beaut-i-ful story of the love of the Queen of the Fairies - that's you, Bestiality-”
“-thank you very much-”
“-for a mortal man. Plus a hum-our-rus int-ter-lude with Comic Artisans. . .”
“What's an artisan?” said Weaver the thatcher.
“Dunno. Type of well, I reckon.” Jason scratched his head. “Yeah. They've got 'em down on the plains. I repaired a pump for one once. Artisan wells.”
“What's comic about them?”
“Maybe people fall down 'em in a funny way?”
“Why can't we do a Morris like normal?” said Obidiah Carpenter the tailor.[11]
“Morris is for every day,” said Jason. “We got to do something cultural. This come all the way from Ankh-Morpork.”
“We could do the Stick and Bucket Dance,” volunteered Baker the weaver.
“No one is to do the Stick and Bucket Dance ever again,” said Jason. “Old Mr. Thrum still walks with a limp, and it were three months ago.”
Weaver the thatcher squinted at his copy of the script.
"Who's this bugger Exeunt Omnes' he said.
“I don't think much of my part,” said Carpenter, “it's too small.”
“It's his poor wife I feel sorry for,” said Weaver, automatically.
“Why?” said Jason.[13]
“And why's there got to be a lion in it?” said Baker the weaver.
“'Cos it's a play!” said Jason. “No one'd want to see it if it had a . . . a donkey in it! Oi can just see people comin' to see a play 'cos it had a donkey in it. This play was written by a real playsmith! Hah, I can just see a real playsmith putting donkeys in a play! He says he'll be very interested to hear how we get on! Now just you all shut up!”
“I don't feel like the Queen of the Fairies,” moaned Bestiality Carter.[14]
“You'll grow into it,” said Weaver.
“I hope not.”
“And you've got to rehearse,” said Jason.
“There's no room,” said Thatcher the carter.
“Well, I ain't doin' it where anyone else can see,” said Bestiality. “Even if we go out in the woods somewhere, people'll be bound to see. Me in a dress!”
“They won't recognize you in your makeup,” said Weaver.
“Make-up?”
“Yeah, and your wig,” said Tailor the other weaver. “He's right, though,” said Weaver. “If we're going to make fools of ourselves, I don't want no one to see me until we're good at it.”
“Somewhere off the beaten track, like,” said Thatcher the carter.
“Out in the country,” said Tinker the tinker.