Ponder looked down.
The chieftain had been turned into a pumpkin although, in accordance with the rules of universal humour, he still had his hat on.
“And now,” said Ridcully, “I'd be obliged if all you fellows hidin' behind the rocks and things would just step out where I can see you. Very good. Mr. Stibbons, you and the Librarian just pass around with the hat, please.”
“But this is robbery!” said the coachman. “And you've turned him into a fruit!”
“A vegetable,” said Ridcully “Anyway, it'll wear off in a couple of hours.”
“And I'm owed a horse,” said Casanunda.
The bandits paid up, reluctantly handing over money to Ponder and reluctantly but very quickly handing over money to the Librarian.
“There's almost three hundred dollars, sir,” said Ponder.
“And a horse, remember. In fact, there were two horses. I'd forgotten about the other horse until now.”
“Capital! We're in pocket on the trip. So if these gentlemen would just remove the roadblock, we'll be on our way.”
“In fact, there was a third horse I've just remembered about.”
“This isn't what you're supposed to do! You're supposed to be robbed!” shouted the coachman.
Ridcully pushed him off the board.
“We're on holiday,” he said.
The coach rattled away There was a distant cry of “And four horses, don't forget” before it rounded a bend.
The pumpkin developed a mouth.
“Have they gone?”
“Yes, boss.”
“Roll me into the shade, will you? And no one say anything about this ever again. Has anyone got any dried frog pills?”
Verence II respected witches. They'd put him on the throne. He was pretty certain of that, although he couldn't quite work out how it had happened. And he was in awe of Granny Weatherwax.
He followed her meekly toward the dungeons, hurrying to keep up with her long stride.
“What's happening, Mistress Weatherwax?”
“Got something to show you.”
“You mentioned elves.”
“That's right.”
“I thought they were a fairy story.”
“Well?”
“I mean . . . you know . . . an old wives' tale?”
“So?”
Granny Weatherwax seemed to generate a gyroscopic field - if you started out off-balance, she saw to it that you remained there.