“Wow!” said Shawn.
“My word,” said Ridcully.
“Um,” said the king.
“Oook?”
Shawn picked up the book very, very carefully, and turned a few pages.
“Hey, look at this one! He's doing it with his feet! I didn't know you could do it with your feet!” He nudged Ponder Stibbons. “Look, sir!”
Ridcully peered at the king.
“You all right, your majesty?” he said.
Verence squirmed.
“Um . . .”
“And, look, here's one where both chaps are doing it with sticks . . .”
“What?” said Verence.
“Wow,” said Shawn. “Thank you, sire. This is going to really come in handy, I can tell you. I mean, I've picked up bits and pieces here and there, but-”
Verence snatched the book from Shawn's hands and looked at the title page.
“'Martial Arts”? Martial Arts. But I'm sure I wrote Marit-"
“Sire?”
There was one exquisite moment while Verence fought for mental balance, but he won.
“Ah. Yes. Right. Uh. Well, yes. Uh. Of course. Yes. Well, you see, a well-trained army is . . . is essential to the security of any kingdom. That's right. Yes. Fine. Magrat and me, we thought. . . yes. It's for you, Shawn.”
“I'll start practicing right away, sire!”
“Um. Good.”
Jason Ogg awoke, and wished he hadn't.
Let's be clear. Many authorities have tried to describe a hangover. Dancing elephants and so on are often employed for this purpose. The descriptions never work. The always smack of, hoho, here's one for the lads, let's have some hangover machismo, hoho, landlord, another nineteen pints of lager, hey, we supped some stuff last night, hoho . . .
Anyway, you can't describe a scumble hangover. The best bit of it is a feeling that your teeth have dissolved and coated themselves on your tongue.
Eventually the blacksmith sat up and opened his eyes.[26]
His clothes were soaked with dew.
His head felt full of wisps and whispers.
He stared at the stones.
The scumble jar was lying in the leather. After a moment or two he picked it up, and took an experimental swig. It was empty.
He nudged Weaver in the ribs with his boot.
“Wake up, you old bugger. We've been up here all night!”