Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'Oh. Corporal Carrot. Didn't know it was you.'

The voice was normal now, no trace of whine or wheedle. The figure turned and brought her stick down hard on something in the corridor.

'Naughty boy, Dribbling Sidney! You could have told I it were Corporal Carrot!'

'Arrgh!'

The figure strode into the room.

'And who's your ladyfriend, Mr Carrot?'

'This is Lance-Constable Angua. Angua, this is Queen Molly of the Beggars.'

For once, Angua noted, someone wasn't surprised to find a female in the Watch. Queen Molly nodded at her as one working woman to another. The Beggars' Guild was an equal-opportunity non-employer.

Captain Vimes of the Watch.'

The gargoyle pricked up its huge ears.

'Ar. Oo erk or Ister Arrot?'

Vimes worked this one out, too, and blinked.

'You know Corporal Carrot?'

'Oh, Ess. Air-ee-un owes Arrot.'

Vimes snorted. I grew up here, he thought, and when I walk down the street everyone says, 'Who's that glum bugger?' Carrot's been here a few months and everyone knows him. And he knows everyone. Everyone likes him. I'd be annoyed about that, if only he wasn't so likeable.

'You live right up here,' said Vimes, interested despite the more pressing problem on his mind, 'how come you know Arrot . . . Carrot?'

'Ee cuns uk ere um-imes an awks oo ugg.'

'Uz ee?'

'Egg.'

'Did someone else come up here? Just now?'

'Egg-'

'Did you see who it was?'

'Oh. Ee oot izh oot on i ed. Ang et ogg a ire-erk. I or ing un ah-ay a-ong Or-oh-Erns Eet.'

Holofernes Street, Vimes translated. Whoever it was would be well away by now.

'Ee ad a ick,' Cornice volunteered. A ire-erk htick.'

A what?'

'Ire-erk. Oo oh? Ang! Ock! Arks! Ockekts! Ang!'

'Oh, fireworks.'

'Egg. Aks ot I ed.'

A firework stick? Like . . . like a rocket stick?'