Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

He looked up. It was Captain Quirke of the Day Watch, with a couple of his men behind him.

'Yes?'

'You come with us. And give me your sword.'

'What?'

'I think you heard me, captain.'

'Look, it's me, Quirke. Sam Vimes? Don't be a fool.'

'I ain't a fool. I've got men with crossbows. Men. It's you that'd be the fool if you resist arrest.'

'Oh? I'm under arrest?'

'Only if you don't come with us . . .'

The Patrician was in the Oblong Office, staring out of the window. The multi-belled cacophony of five o'clock was just dying away.

Vimes saluted. From the back, Vetinari looked like a carnivorous flamingo.

'Ah, Vimes,' he said, without looking around, 'come here, will you? And tell me what you see.'

Vimes hated guessing games, but he joined the Patri-cian anyway.

The Oblong Office had a view over half the city, although most of it was rooftops and towers. Vimes' imagination peopled the towers with men holding gonnes. The Patrician would be an easy target.

'What do you see out there, captain?'

'City of Ankh-Morpork, sir,' said Vimes, keeping his expression carefully blank.

'And does it put you in mind of anything, captain?'

Vimes scratched his head. If he was going to play gaames, he was going to play games . . .

'Well, sir, when I was a kid we owned a cow once, and one day it got sick, and it was always my job to clean out the cowshed, and—'

'It reminds me of a clock,' said the Patrician. 'Big wheels, little wheels. All clicking away. The little wheels spin and the big wheels turn, all at different speeds, you see, but the machine works. And that is the most important thing. The machine keeps going. Because when the machine breaks down . . .'

He turned suddenly, strode to his desk with his usual predatory stalk, and sat down.

'Or, again, sometimes a piece of grit might get into the wheels, throwing them off balance. One speck of grit.'

Vetinari looked up and flashed Vimes a mirthless smile.

'I won't have that.'

Vimes stared at the wall.

'I believe I told you to forget about certain recent events, captain?'

'Sir.'

'Yet it appears that the Watch have been getting in the wheels.'

'Sir.'

'What am I to do with you?'