Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'I know you, Stronginthearm,' he said. 'What's this all about?'

'You know, Watchman,' said Stronginthearm. 'The Watch say a troll killed Bjorn Hammerhock. They've found the troll!'

'No, that's not—'

There was a sound behind Cuddy. The trolls were back, armed for dwarf. Detritus turned around and waved a finger at them.

'Any troll move,' he said, 'and I start counting.'

'Hammerhock was killed by a man,' said Cuddy. 'Captain Vimes thinks—'

'The Watch have got the troll,' said a dwarf. 'Damn rocks!'

'Gritsuckers!'

'Monoliths!'

'Eaters of rats!'

'Hah, I been a man only hardly any time,' said Detritus, 'and already I fed up with you stupid trolls. What you think humans say, eh? Oh, them ethnic, them don't know how to behave in big city, go around waving clubs at the drop of a thing you wear on head.'

'We're Watchmen,' said Cuddy. 'Our job is to keep the peace.'

'Good,' said Stronginthearm. 'Go and keep it safe somewhere until we need it.'

'This not Koom Valley,' said Detritus.

'That's right!' shouted a dwarf at the back of the crowd. 'This time we can see you!'

Trolls and dwarfs were pouring in at either end of the street.

'What would Corporal Carrot do at a time like this?' whispered Cuddy.

'He say, you bad people, make me angry, you stop toot sweet.'

'And then they'd go away, right?'

'Yeah.'

'What would happen if we tried that?'

'We look in gutter for our heads.'

'I think you're right.'

'You see that alley? It a nice alley. It say, hello. You outnumbered . . . 256+64+8+2+1 to 1. Drop in and see me.'

A club bounced off Detritus' helmet.

'Run!'

The two Watchmen sprinted for the alley. The impromptu armies watched them and then, differences momentarily forgotten, gave chase.

'Where this go?'

'It goes away from the people chasing us!'

'I like this alley.'