Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'Sound like easy job to me.'

'I had the devil of a time getting them to swallow the fortunes.'

Cuddy stopped. A change in the air suggested a vaster tunnel up ahead.

And, indeed, the tunnel opened into the side of a much larger one. There was deep mud on the floor, in the middle of which ran a trickle of water. Cuddy fancied he heard rats, or what he hoped were rats, scuttle away into the dark emptiness. He even thought he could hear the sounds of the city – indistinct, intermingled – filtering through the earth.

'It's like a temple,' he said, and his voice boomed away into the distance.

'Writing here on wall,' said Detritus.

Cuddy peered at the letters hacked deeply into the stone.

' “VIA CLOACA”,' he said. 'Hmm. Well, now . . . via is an old word for street or way. Cloaca means . . .'

He peered into the gloom.

'This is a sewer,' he said.

'What that?'

'It's like . . . well, where do trolls dump their . . . rubbish?' said Cuddy.

'In street,' said Detritus. 'Hygienic.' 'This is . . . an underground street just for . . . well, for crap,' said Cuddy. 'I never knew Ankh-Morpork had them.'

him some coffee,' said Angua.

'I reckon he's beyond our coffee,' said Colon. 'Nobby, nip along to Fat Sally's in Squeezebelly Alley and get a jug of their special Klatchian stuff. Not a metal jug, mind.'

Vimes blinked as they manhandled him into a chair.

All go 'way,' he said. 'Bang! Bang!'

'Lady Sybil's going to be really mad,' said Nobby. 'You know he promised to leave it alone.'

'Captain Vimes?' said Carrot.

'Mm?'

'How many fingers am I holding up?'

'Mm?'

'How many hands, then?'

'Fo'?'

'Blimey, I haven't seen him like this for years,' said Colon. 'Here, let me try something. Want another drink, captain?'

'He certainly doesn't need a—'

'Shut up, I know what I'm doing. Another drink, Captain Vimes?'

'Mm?'

'I've never known him not be able to give a loud clear “yes!”,' said Colon, standing back. 'I think we'd better get him up to his room.'

'I'll take him, poor chap,' said Carrot. He lifted Vimes easily, and slung him over his shoulder.