Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'And, and then, yeah, we'll get the old thousand swords trick, yeah? Fifty crates stacked up, turns out the bottom forty are full of rocks?' 'I—'

'What's your name, mister?'

'I—'

'You open this door right now!'

The hatch shut. There was the sound of bolts being pulled back by someone who was not at all convinced it was a good idea and would be asking searching questions in a minute.

'Got a piece of paper on you, Fred? Quick!'

'Yes, but—' said Sergeant Colon.

'Any paper! Now!'

Colon fumbled in his pocket and handed Nobby his grocery bill just as the door opened. Nobby swaggered in at high speed, forcing the man inside to walk backwards.

'Don't run off!' he shouted, 'I haven't found anything wrong—'

'I wasn't r—'

'—YET!'

Carrot had time to get an impression of a cavernous place full of complicated shadows. Apart from the man, who was fatter than Colon, there were a couple of trolls who appeared to be operating a grindstone. Current events did not seem to have penetrated the thick walls.

slow, then,' said Sergeant Colon. 'All the others just struck, you couldn't miss 'em.'

'My cousin Jorgen makes ones like these,' said Cuddy. 'They keep better time than demons or water clocks or candles. Or those big pendulum things.'

'There's a spring and wheels,' said Carrot.

'The important bit,' said Cuddy, taking an eyeglass from somewhere in his beard and examining the watch carefully, 'is a little rocking-thingummy that stops the wheels from going too fast.'

'How does it know if they're going too fast?' said Angua.

'It's kind of built-in,' said Cuddy. 'Don't understand it much myself. What's this inscription here . . .'

He read it aloud.

' “A Watch From, Your Old Freinds in the Watch”?'

'It's a play on words,' said Carrot.

There was a long, embarrassed silence.

'Um. I chipped in a few dollars each from you new recruits,' he added, blushing. 'I mean . . . you can pay me back when you like. If you want to. I mean . . . you'd be bound to be friends. Once you got to know him.'

The rest of the Watch exchanged glances.

He could lead armies, Angua thought. He really could. Some people have inspired whole countries to great deeds because of the power of their vision. And so could he. Not because he dreams about marching hordes, or world domination, or an empire of a thousand years. Just because he thinks that everyone's really decent underneath and would get along just fine if only they made the effort, and he believes that so strongly it burns like a flame which is bigger than he is. He's got a dream and we're all part of it, so that it shapes the world around him. And the weird thing is that no-one wants to disappoint him. It'd be like kicking the biggest puppy in the universe. It's a kind of magic.

'The gold's rubbing off,' said Cuddy. 'But it's a good watch,' he added quickly.

'I was hoping we could give it to him tonight,' said Carrot. 'And all go out for a . . . drink . . .'

'Not a good idea,' said Angua.

'Leave it until tomorrow,' said Colon. 'We'll form a guard of honour at the wedding. That's traditional. Everyone holds their swords up in a kind of arch.'