'You two horrible troll! You raise your hand right now, you repeat troll oath—'
'Ah, captain,' said Carrot. 'Can we have a word?'
'You're in real trouble, Corporal Garret,' snarled Quirke. 'Who do you think you are?'
'I will do what I told—'
'Don't wanna be inna—'
Wham!
'I will do what I told—'
'Just the man on the spot, captain,' said Carrot cheerfully.
'Well, man on the spot, I'm the senior officer here, and you can damn well—'
'Interesting point,' said Carrot. He produced his black book. 'I'm relieving you of your command.'
'—otherwise I get my goohuloog head kicked in.'
'—otherwise I get my goohuloog head kicked in.'
'Wha—? Are you mad?'
'No, sir, but I'm choosing to believe that you are. There are regulations laid down for this eventuality.'
'Where is your authority?' Quirke stared at the crowd. Hah! I suppose you'll say this armed mob is your authority, eh?'
Carrot looked shocked.
'No. The Laws and Ordinances of Ankh-Morpork, sir. It's all down here. Can you tell me what evidence you have against the prisoner Coalface?'
'That damn troll? It's a troll!'
'Yes?'
Quirke looked around.
'Look, I don't have to tell you with everyone here—'
'As a matter of fact, according to the rules, you do. That's why it's called evidence. It means “that which is seen”.'
'Listen!' hissed Quirke, leaning towards Carrot. 'He's a troll. He's as guilty as hell of something. They all are!'
Carrot smiled brightly.
Colon had come to know that smile. Carrot's face seemed to go waxy and glisten when he smiled like that.
'And so you locked him up?'
'Right!'
'Oh. I see. I understand now.'
Carrot turned away.
'I don't know what you think you're—' Quirke began.