Small Gods (Discworld 13) - Page 12

“How long has he been down here?”

“Two days, lord.”

“And you can keep him alive for-?”

“Perhaps two days more, lord.”

“Do so. Do so. It is, after all,” said Vorbis, “our duty to preserve life for as long as possible. Is it not?”

The inquisitor gave him the nervous smile of one in the presence of a superior whose merest word could see him manacled on a bench.

“Er . . . yes, lord.”

“Heresy and lies everywhere,” Vorbis sighed. “And now I shall have to find another secretary. It is too vexing.”

After twenty minutes Brutha relaxed. The siren voices of sensuous evil seemed to have gone away.

He got on with the melons. He felt capable of understanding melons. Melons seemed a lot more comprehensible than most things.

“Hey, you!”

Brutha straightened up.

“I do not hear you, oh foul succubus,” he said.

"Oh yes you do, boy. Now, what I want you to do is-

“I've got my fingers in my ears!”

"Suits you. Suits you. Makes you look like a vase. Now?

“I'm humming a tune! I'm humming a tune!”

Brother Preptil, the master of the music, had described Brutha's voice as putting him in mind of a disappointed vulture arriving too late at the dead donkey. Choral singing was compulsory for novitiates, but after much petitioning by Brother Preptil a special dispensation had been made for Brutha. The sight of his big round face screwed up in the effort to please was bad enough, but what was worse was listening to his voice, which was certainly powerful and full of intent conviction, swinging backward and forward across the tune without ever quite hitting it.

He got Extra Melons instead.

Up in the prayer towers a flock of crows took off in a hurry.

After a full chorus of He is Trampling the Unrighteous with Hooves of Hot Iron Brutha unplugged his ears and risked a quick listen.

Apart from the distant protests of the crows, there was silence.

It worked. Put your trust in the God, they said. And he always had. As far back as he could remember.

He picked up his hoe and turned back, in relief, to the vines.

The hoe's blade was about to hit the ground when Brutha saw the tortoise.

It was small and basically yellow and covered with dust. Its shell was badly chipped. It had one beady eye -the other had fallen to one of the thousands of dangers that attend any slow-moving creature which lives an inch from the ground.

He looked around. The gardens were well inside the temple complex; and surrounded by high walls.

“How did you get in here, little creature?” he said. “Did you fly?”

The tortoise stared monoptically at him. Brutha felt a bit homesick. There had been plenty of tortoises in the sandy hills back home.

“I could give you some lettuce,” said Brutha. “But I don't think tortoises are allowed in the gardens. Aren't you vermin?”

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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