'I reckon I could just do with a couple of them at home,' she said thoughtfully, as they slid away again. 'Our Jason could dig another pond, no problem. What was it you said they et?'
'Anything they want to.'
'I knows a joke about alligators,' said Granny, in the tones of one announcing a great and solemn truth.
'You never!' said Nanny Ogg. 'I never heard you tell a joke in your whole life!'
'Just because I don't tell 'em don't mean I don't know 'em,' said Granny haughtily. 'It's about this man - '
'What man?' said Nanny.
'This man went into an inn. Yes. It was an inn. And he saw a sign. The sign said “We serve every kind of sandwich.” So he said “Get me an alligator sandwich -and make it quick!” '
They looked at her.
Nanny Ogg turned to Mrs Gogol.
'So . . . you live alone here, then?' she said brightly. 'Not a living soul around?'
'In a manner of speakin',' said Mrs Gogol.
'You see, the point is, alligators are - ' Granny began, in a loud voice, and then stopped.
The shack's door had opened.
This was another big kitchen.* Once upon a time it had provided employment for half a dozen cooks. Now it was a cave, its far corners shadowy, its hanging saucepans and tureens dulled by dust. The big tables had been pushed to one side and stacked almost ceiling high with ancient crockery; the stoves, which looked big enough to take
* As Desiderata said, fairy godmothers tend to get heavily involved with kitchens.
whole cows and cook for an army, stood cold.
In the middle of the grey desolation someone had set up a small table by the fireplace. It was on a square of bright carpet. A jam-jar contained flowers that had been arranged by the simple method of grabbing a handful of them and ramming them in. The effect was a little area of slightly soppy brightness in the general gloom.
Ella shuffled a few things around desperately and then stood looking at Magrat with a sort of defensively shy smile.
'Silly of me, really. I expect you're used to this sort of thing,' she said.
'Um. Yes. Oh, yes. All the time,' said Magrat.
'It was just that I expected you to be a bit ... older? Apparently you were at my christening?'
'Ah. Yes?' said Magrat. 'Well, you see, the thing is - '
'Still, I expect you can look like whatever you want,' said Ella helpfully.
'Ah. Yes. Er.'
Ella looked slightly puzzled for a moment, as if trying to work out why - if Magrat could look like whatever she wanted - she'd chosen to look like Magrat.
'Well, now,' she said. 'What do we do next?'
'You mentioned tea,' said Magrat, buying time.
'Oh, sure.' Ella turned to the fireplace, where a blackened kettle hung over what Granny Weatherwax always called an optimist's fire.*
'What's your name?' she said over her shoulder.
'Magrat,' said Magrat, sitting.