Carpe Jugulum (Discworld 23)

'And they're... well, they're not a very good orchestra...'

Didn't you pay any attention to what they were saying at all, you useless lump?

'They're a very bad orchestra,' said Vlad.

'Well, the King only bought the instruments last month and basically they're trying to learn together-'

Chop his head off! Give him a garlic enema!

'Are you all right? You really know there are no vampires here, don't you...'

He's controlling you! Perdita screamed. They're... affecting people!

'I'm a bit... faint from all the excitement,' Agnes mumbled. 'I think I'll go home.' Some instinct at bonemarrow level made her add, 'I'll ask Nanny to go with me.'

Vlad gave her an odd look, as if she wasn't reacting in quite the right way. Then he smiled. Agnes noticed that he had very white teeth.

'I don't think I've ever met anyone like you, Miss Nitt,' he said. 'There's something so... inner about you.'

That's me! That's me! He can't work me out! Now let's both get out of here! yelled Perdita.

'But we shall meet again.'

Agnes gave him a nod and staggered away, clutching at her head. It felt like a ball of cotton wool in which there was, inexplicably, a needle.

She passed Mightily Oats, who'd dropped his book on the floor and was sitting groaning with his head in his hands. He raised it to look at her.

'Er... miss, have you anything that might help my head?' he said. 'It really is... rather painful...'

'The Queen makes up some sort of headache pills out of willow bark,' Agnes panted, and hurried on.

Nanny Ogg was standing morosely with a pint in her hand, a hitherto unheard-of combination.

'The weasel juggler didn't turn up,' she said. 'Well, I'm going to put out the hard word on him. He's had it in showbusiness in these parts.'

'Could you... help me home, Nanny?'

'So what if he got bitten on the essentials, that's all part ofAre you all right?'

'I feel really awful, Nanny.'

'Let's go, then. All the good beer's gone and I'm not stoppin' anyway if there's nothin' to laugh at.'

The wind was whistling across the sky when they walked back to Agnes's cottage. In fact there seemed more whistle than wind. The leafless trees creaked as they passed, the weak moonlight filling the eaves of the woods with dangerous shadows. Clouds were piling in, and there was more rain on the way.

Agnes noticed Nanny pick up something as they left the town behind them.

It was a stick. She'd never known a witch carry a stick at night before.

'Why have you got that, Nanny?'

'What? Oh? Dunno, really. It's a rattly odd night, ain't it... ?'

'But you're never frightened of anything in Lan-'

Several things pushed through the bushes and clattered on to the road ahead. For a moment Agnes thought they were horses, until the moonlight caught them. Then they were gone, into the shadows on the other side of the road. She heard galloping among the trees.

'Haven't seen any of those for a long time,' said Nanny.