He glanced around. A piece of straw drifted to the ground.
He began brushing again. 'Huh! Fetch thith, fetch that... never a morthel of rethpect, oh no...'
Igor stopped and pulled another piece of straw off his sleeve.
'... and another thing..
.'
There was a creak, a rush of air, the horse reared in its stall and Igor was borne to the ground, his head feeling as though it was caught in a vice.
'Now, if I brings my knees together,' said a cheerful female voice above him, 'it's very probable I could make your brains come right down your nose. But I know that ain't going to happen, because I'm sure we're all friends here. Say yes.'
' 'th.'
'That's the best we're going to get, I expect.'
Nanny Ogg got up and flicked straw off her dress. 'I've been in cleaner haylofts,' she said. 'Up you get, Mr Igor. And if you're thinking of anything clever, my colleague over there is holdin' a pitchfork and she ain't much good at aiming so who knows what part of you she might hit?'
'Ith that a baby thee'th carrying?'
'We're very modern,' said Nanny. 'We've got hedge money and everything. And now we'll have your coach, Igor.'
'Will we?' said Magrat. 'Where're we going?'
'It's a wicked night. I don't want to keep the babby out, and I don't know where we'd be safe near here. Maybe we can get down on to the plains before morning.'
'I won't leave Lancre I'
'Save the child,' said Nanny. 'Make sure there's going to be a future. Besides...' She mouthed something at Magrat which Igor did not catch.
'We can't be sure of that,' said Magrat.
'You know the way Granny thinks,' said Nanny. 'She'll want us to keep the baby safe,' she added loudly. 'So hitch up the horses, Mr Igor.'
'Yeth, mithtreth,' said Igor meekly.*
'Are you kicking my bucket, Igor?'[12]
'No, it'th a pleathure to be commanded in a clear, firm authoritative voithe, mithtreth,' said Igor, lurching over to the bridles. 'None of thith "Would you mind..." rubbith. An Igor liketh to know where he thtandth.'
'Slightly lopsidedly?' said Magrat.
'The old marthter uthed to whip me every day!' said Igor proudly.
'You liked that?' said Magrat.
'Of courthe not! But it'th proper! He wath a gentleman, whothe bootth I wath not fit to lick clean...'
'But you did, though?' said Nanny.
Igor nodded. 'Every morning. Uthed to get a lovely thine, too.'
'Well, help us out and I'll see you're flogged with a scented bootlace,' said Nanny.
'Thankth all the thame, but I'm leaving anyway,' said Igor, tightening a strap. 'I'm thick up to here with thith lot. They thouldn't be doing thith! They're a dithgrathe to the thpethieth!'
Nanny wiped her face. 'I like a man who speaks his mind,' she said, 'and is always prepared to lend a towel - did I say towel? I mean hand.'