"It"ll be like a second honeymoon," said Sybil.
"Yes indeed," said Vimes, remembering that what with one thing and another they"d never really had a first one.
"On that, er, subject," said Sybil, a little more hesitantly, "you remember I told you I was going to see old Mrs Content?"
"Oh, yes, how is she?" Vimes was staring at the fireplace again. It wasn"t just old schoolfriends. Sometimes it seemed Sybil kept in touch with anyone she"d ever met. Her Hogswatch card list ran to a second volume.
"Quite well, I believe. Anyway, she agrees that - "
There was a knocking at the door.
She sighed. "It"s Willikins" evening off," she said. "You"d better answer it, Sam. I know you want to."
"I"ve told them not to disturb me unless it"s serious," said Vimes, getting up.
"Yes, but you think all crime is serious, Sam."
Carrot was on the doorstep. "It"s a bit... political, sir," he said.
"What"s so political at a quarter to ten at night, captain?"
"The Dwarf Bread Museum"s been broken into, sir," said Carrot.
Vimes looked into Carrot"s honest blue eyes.
"A thought occurs to me, captain," he said slowly. "And the thought is: a certain item has gone missing."
"That"s right, sir."
"And it"s the replica Scone."
"Yes, sir. Either they broke in just after we left, or," Carrot licked his lips nervously, "they were hiding while we were there."
"Not rats, then."
"No, sir. Sorry, sir."
Vimes fastened his cloak and took his helmet off its peg.
"So someone has stolen a replica of the Scone of Stone a few weeks before the real one is due to be used in a very important ceremony," he said. "I find this intriguing." ;The whole carrier-pigeon network is a complete mess - "
"More or less sorted out, sir, now we"ve changed their feed. Besides, the clacks seems to be functioning very well."
"We"ve got to get the River Watch set up - "
"Can"t do much for a week or two, sir, until we"ve dredged up the boat."
"The drains at the Chitterling Street station are - "
"I"ve got the plumbers working on it, sir."
Vimes knew that he had lost. He had lost as soon as Sybil was involved, because she was always a reliable siege engine against the walls of his defences. But there was such a thing as going down fighting.
"You know I"m no good at diplomatic talk," he said.
"On the contrary, Vimes, you appear to have amazed the diplomatic corps here in Ankh-Morpork," said Lord Vetinari. "They"re not used to plain speech. It confuses them. What was it you said to the Istanzian ambassador last month?" He riffled through the papers on his desk. "Let me see, the complaint is here somewhere... Oh, yes, on the matter of military incursions across the Slipnir river, you indicated that further transgressions would involve him, personally, that is to say the ambassador, and I quote "going home in an ambulance"."
"I"m sorry about that, sir, but it had been a long day and he was really getting on my - "