"But, my lord, they will know what you are thinking!"
Vetinari patted him on the shoulder. "No, Leonard. They will merely know what is in my messages."
"I really do not understand, my lord."
"No, but on the other hand I cannot make exploding coffee. What would the world be like if we were all alike?"
Leonard"s face clouded for a moment. "I"m not sure," he said, "but if you"d like me to work on the problem I may be able to devise a - "
"It was merely a figure of speech, Leonard."
Vetinari shook his head ruefully. It often seemed to him that Leonard, who had pushed intellect into hitherto undiscovered uplands, had discovered there large and specialized pockets of stupidity. What would be the point of cyphering messages that very clever enemies couldn"t break? You"d end up not knowing what they thought you thought they were thinking...
"There was one rather strange message from Uberwald, my lord," said Leonard. "Yesterday morning."
"Strange?"
"It was not cyphered."
"Not at all? I thought everyone used codes."
"Oh, the sender and recipient are code names, but the message is quite plain. It was a request for information about Commander Vimes, of whom you have often spoken."
Lord Vetinari went quite still.
"The return message was mostly clear, too. A certain amount of... gossip."
"All about Vimes? Yesterday morning? Before I - ?"
"My lord?"
"Tell me," said the Patrician. "This message from Uberwald. It yields no clue at all to the sender?"
Sometimes, like a ray of light through clouds, Leonard could be quite perceptive. "You think you might know the originator, my lord?"
"Oh, in my younger days I spent some time in Uberwald," said the Patrician. "In those days rich young men from Ankh-Morpork used to go on what we called the Grand Sneer, visiting farflung countries and cities in order to see at first hand how inferior they were. Or so it seemed, at any rate. Oh, yes. I spent some time in Uberwald."
It was not often that Leonard of Quirm paid attention to what people around him were doing, but he saw the faraway look in Lord Vetinari"s eye.
"You have fond memories, my lord?" he ventured.
"Hmm? Oh, she was a very... unusual lady but, alas, rather older than me," said Vetinari.
"Much older, I have to say. But it was a long time ago. Life teaches us its small lessons and we move on." There was that distant look again. "Well, well, well..."
"And no doubt the lady is now dead," said Leonard. He was not much good at this sort of conversation.
"Oh, I very much doubt that," said Vetinari. "I have no doubt she thrives." He smiled. The world was becoming more... interesting. "Tell me, Leonard," he said. "Has it ever occurred to you that one day wars will be fought with brains?"
Leonard picked up his coffee cup. "Oh dear. Won"t that be rather messy?" he said.
Vetinari sighed again. "Not perhaps as messy as the other sort," he said, trying the coffee. It really was rather good.
The ducal coach rolled past the last of the outlying buildings and on to the vast, flat Sto Plains. Cheery and Detritus had tactfully decided to ride on the top for the morning, leaving the Duke and Duchess alone inside. Skimmer was indulging in some uneasy class solidarity and riding with the servants for a while.
"Angua seems to have gone into hiding," said Vimes, watching the cabbage fields pass by.
"Poor girl," said Sybil. "The city"s not really the place for her."