The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

Cheery read the message, and then stared at Vimes.

"Are you sure, sir?" she said.

"Maybe. Make sure you send the description. Names don"t mean much."

"May I ask what makes you think - "

"His walk. And he didn"t catch an orange," said Vimes. "Mhm. Mhm."

Constable Visit was cleaning out the old pigeon loft when the message arrived on the clacks.

He was spending more and more time with the pigeons these days. It wasn"t a popular job, so no one had tried to take it away from him, and at least up here the shouts and door-slammings were muffled.

The perches gleamed.

Constable Visit enjoyed his job. He didn"t have many friends in the city. Truth to tell, he didn"t have many friends in the Watch, either. But at least there were people to talk to, and he was making headway with the religious instruction of the pigeons.

But now there was this...

It was addressed to Captain Carrot. That meant it probably ought to be delivered to Captain Colon now, and personally, because Captain Colon thought that people were spying on his messages sent via the suction tube.

Constable Visit had been fairly safe until now. Omnians were good at not questioning orders, even ones that made no sense. Visit instinctively respected authority, no matter how crazy, because he"d been brought up properly. And he had plenty of time to keep his armour bright. Brightly polished armour had suddenly become very important in the Watch, for some reason.

Even so, going into Colon"s office needed all the courage that the legendary Bishop Horn had shown when entering the city of the Oolites, and everyone knew what they did to strangers.

Visit climbed down from the loft and made his nervous way to the main building, taking care to walk smartly.

The main office was more or less empty. There seemed to be fewer watchmen around these days. Usually people preferred to loaf indoors in this chilly weather, but suddenly everyone was keen to be out of Captain Colon"s view.

Visit went up to the office and knocked on the door.

He knocked again.

When there was no reply he pushed open the door, walked carefully over to the sparkling clean desk, and went to tuck the message flimsy under the ink bottle in case it blew away

"Aha!"

The ink soared up as Visit"s hand jerked. He had a vision of the blue-black shower passing his eye, and heard the splat as it hit something behind him.

He turned like an automaton, to see a Captain Colon who would have, been white-faced if it wasn"t for the ink.

"I see," said Colon. "Assault on a superior officer, eh?"

"It was an accident, captain!"

"Oh, was it? And why, pray, were you sneaking into my office?"

"I didn"t think you were in here, captain!" Visit gabbled.

"Aha!"

" Sorry?"

"Sneaking a look at my private papers, eh?"

"No, captain!" Visit rallied a little bit. "Why were you standing behind the door, captain?"

"Oh? I"m not allowed to stand behind my own door, is that it?"