The people looked around to see who had said this. None of them looked down, because dogs can"t talk.
"We can forgo the steak," said Carrot, mounting up.
"No, w - No you can"t," said the voice. "A deal"s a deal. Who was risking their life here, that"s what I"d like to know." .
"Come, Gaspode," said Carrot.
Whining and grumbling, the little dog emerged from the crowd and trailed after the horse.
It wasn"t until they were at the edge of the town square that one of the people said, "Oi, what the hell happened there?" and the spell broke. But by then both horse and dog were travelling really, really fast.
Vimes hated and despised the privileges of rank, but they had this to be said for them: at least they meant that you could hate and despise them in comfort.
Willikins would arrive at an inn an hour before Vimes"s coach and, with an arrogance that Vimes would never dare employ, take over several rooms and install Vimes"s own cook in the kitchen. Vimes complained about this to Inigo.
"But you see, your grace, you"re not here as an individual but as Ankh-Morpork. When people look at you, they see the city, mhm, mhm."
"They do? Should I stop washing?"
"That is very droll, sir. But you see, sir, you and the city are one. Mhm, mhm. If you are insulted, Ankh-Morpork is insulted. If you befriend, Ankh-Morpork befriends."
"Really? What happens when I go to the lavatory?"
"That"s up to you, sir. Mmhm, mmph."
At breakfast next morning Vimes sliced the top off a boiled egg, thinking: this is Ankh-Morpork slicing the top off a boiled egg. If I cut my toast into soldiers we"re probably at war.
Corporal Littlebottom entered carefully and saluted.
"Your message came back, sir," she said, handing him a scrap of paper. "From Sergeant Stronginthearm. I"ve deciphered it for you. Er... the Scone from the Museum"s been found, sir."
"Well, that"s the other shoe dropped," said Vimes. "I was worried there for a moment."
"Er, in fact Constable Shoe is bothered about it," said Cheery. "It"s "a bit hard to follow what he says, but he seems to think someone made a copy of it."
"What, a fake of a fake? What good"s that?"
"I really couldn"t say, sir. Your other... surmise was correct."
Vimes glanced at the paper. "Hah. Thanks, Cheery. We"ll be down shortly."
"You"re humming, Sam," said Sybil, after a while. "That means something awful is going to happen to somebody."
"Wonderful thing, technology," said Vimes, buttering a slice of toast. "I can see it has its uses."
"And when you grin in that shiny sort of way it means that someone"s playing silly buggers and doesn"t know you"ve just thrown a six."
"I don"t know what you mean, dear. It"s probably the country air agreeing with me."
Lady Sybil put down her teacup. "Sam?"
"Yes, dear?"
"This is probably not the best time to mention it, but you know I told you I went to see old Mrs Content? Well, she says - "
There was another knock at the door. Lady Sybil sighed.
This time it was Inigo who entered.