The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

"We should be leaving, your grace, if you don"t mind. I would like us to be at Slake by lunchtime and through the pass at Wilinus before dark, mhm, mhm."

"Do we have to rush so?" sighed Sybil.

"The pass is... slightly dangerous," said Inigo. "Somewhat lawless. Mhm, mhm."

"Only somewhat?" said Vimes.

"I will just feel happier when it is behind us," said Inigo. "It would be a good idea if the second coach follows, us closely and your men stay alert, your grace."

"They teach you tactics in Lord Vetinari"s political office, do they, Inigo?" said Vimes.

"Just common sense, mhm, mhm, sir."

"Why don"t we wait until tomorrow before attempting the pass?"

"With respect, your grace, I suggest not. For one thing, the weather is worsening. And I"m sure we"re being watched. We must demonstrate that there is no yellow in the Ankh-Morpork flag, mhm, mhm."

"There is," said Vimes. "It"s on the owl and the collars of the hippos."

"I mean," said Inigo, "that the colours of Ankh-Morpork do not run."

"Only since we got the new dyes," said Vimes. "All right, all right. I know what you mean. But, look, I"m not risking the servants if there"s any danger. And there"s to be no arguing, understand? They can stay here and take the mail coach tomorrow. No one attacks the mail coaches any more."

"I suggest Lady Sybil remains here too, sir. Mhm."

"Absolutely not," said Sybil. "I wouldn"t hear of it! If it"s not too dangerous for Sam, it"s not too dangerous for me."

"I wouldn"t argue with her if I was you," said Vimes to Inigo. "I really wouldn"t."

The wolf was not very happy about being tethered to a tree but, as Gaspode said, never trust nobody.

They"d paused a while in a wood about five miles from the town. It"d be a brief stop, Carrot had said. Some of the people in the square looked the sort who treasured their lack of a sense of humour.

After some barking and growling Gaspode said, "You got to understand that matey here is pers"nally non gratis in local wolf society, being a bit of, ahaha, lone wolf..."

"Yes?" Carrot was taking the roast chickens out of their sack. Gaspode"s eyes fixed on them.

"But he hears the howlin" at night."

"Ah, wolves communicate?"

"Basic"ly your wolf howl is just another way of pissin" against a tree to say it"s your damn tree, but there"s always bits of news, too. Something pasty"s happenin" in Uberwald. He doesn"t know what." Gaspode lowered his voice. "Between you and me, our friend here was well behind the door when the brains was handed out. If wolves was people, he"d be like Foul Ole Ron."

"What"s his name?" said Carrot thoughtfully.

Gaspode gave Carrot a Look. Who cared what a wolf was called?

"Wolf names is difficult," he said. "More like a description, see? It"s not like callin" yourself Mr Snuggles or Bonzo, you understand..."

"Yes, I know. So what is his name?"

"You want to know what his name is, then?"

"Yes, Gaspode."

"So, in fact, it"s the name of this wolf you want to know?"

"That is correct."