"Excuse me," said Vimes, "but what is all this to you?"
"You really don"t drink at all, Sir Samuel?"
No.
"Not even vun?"
"No," said Vimes, more sharply. "You"d know that if you knew anything about - "
"Yet you keep half a bottle in your bottom drawer as a sort of permanent test," said Lady Margolotta. "Now that, Sir Samuel, suggests a man who vears his hair shirts on the inside."
"I want to know who"s been saying all this!"
Lady Margolotta sighed. Vimes got the impression that he"d failed another test. "I am rich, Sir Samuel. Vampires tend to be. Didn"t you know? Lord Vetinari, I know, believes that information is currency. But everyvun knows that currency has alvays been information. Money doesn"t need to talk, it merely has to listen."
She stopped and sat watching Vimes, as if she"d suddenly decided to listen. Vimes moved uncomfortably under the steady gaze.
"How is Havelock Vetinari?" she said.
"The Patrician? Oh... fine."
"He must be quite old now."
"I"ve never really been certain how old he is," said Vimes. "About my age, I suppose."
Then she stood up suddenly. "This has been an interesting meeting, Sir Samuel. I trust Lady Sybil is vell?"
"Er, yes."
"Good. I am so glad. Ve vill meet again, I am sure. Igor vill see you out. My regards to the Baron, vhen you see him. Pat him on the head for me:"
"What the hell was that all about, Cheery?" said Vimes, as the coach set off down the hill again.
"Which bit, sir?"
"Practically all of it, really. Why should Ankh-Morpork dwarfs object if someone says they"re not dwarfs? They know they"re dwarfs."
"They won"t be subject to dwarf law, sir."
"I didn"t know they were."
"I mean, it"s like... how you live your life, sir. Marriages, burials, that sort of thing. Marriages won"t be legal. Old dwarfs won"t be allowed to be buried back home. And that"d be terrible. Every dwarf dreams of going back home when he"s old and starting up a little mine."
"Every dwarf? Even the ones who were born in Ankh-Morpork?"
"Home can mean all sorts of things, sir," said Cheery. "There"s other things, too. Contracts won"t be valid. Dwarfs like good solid rules, sir."
"We"ve got laws in Ankh-Morpork, too. More or less."
"Between themselves dwarfs prefer to use their own, sir."
"I bet the Copperhead dwarfs won"t like it if that happens."
"Yes, sir. There"ll be a split. And another war." She sighed.
"But why was she going on about drink?"
"I don"t know, sir."