" - dwarf - " hissed Vimes.
" - dwarf to his majesty! Please, you must tell me how you have achieved such a delightful lighting effect here!"
"Er, lots of candles," Dee muttered, glaring at Vimes.
"I think Dee wishes to discuss some political matters with me, dear," said Vimes smoothly, putting his hand on the dwarf"s shoulder. "If you"ll just take the others down, I"ll join you shortly, I"m sure." And he knew that no power in the world was going to prevent Sybil sweeping on down to the reception. That woman could sweep. Things stayed swept after she"d gone past.
"You brought a troll, you brought a troll!" muttered Dee.
"And he"s an Ankh-Morpork citizen, remember," said Vimes. "Covered by diplomatic immunity and a rather bad suit."
"Even so - "
"There is no "even so"," said Vimes.
"We are at war with the trolls!"
"Well, that"s what diplomacy is all about, isn"t it?" said Vimes. "A way to stop being at war? Anyway, I understand it"s been going on for five hundred years, so obviously no one is trying very hard."
"There will be complaints at the very highest level!"
Vimes sighed. "More?" he said.
"Some are saying Ankh-Morpork is deliberately flaunting its wickedness before the King!"
"The King?" said Vimes pleasantly. "He"s not exactly King yet, is he? Not until the coronation, which involves a certain... object..."
"Yes, but of course that is a mere formality."
Vimes moved closer. "But it isn"t, is it?" he said quietly. "It is the thing and the whole of the thing. Without the magic, there is no king. Just someone like you, unaccountably giving orders."
"Someone called Vimes teaches me about royalty?" said Dee miserably.
"And without the thing, all the bets are off," said Vimes. "There will be a war. Explosions underground."
There was a tinny little sound as he took out his watch and opened it. "My word, it"s midnight," he said.
"Follow me," Dee muttered.
"Am I being taken to see something?" said Vimes.
"No, your excellency. You are being taken to see where something is not."
"Ah. Then I want to bring Corporal Littlebottom."
"That? Absolutely not! That would be a desecration of - "
"No, it wouldn"t," said Vimes. "And the reason is, she won"t come with us because we"re not going, are we? You"re certainly not taking the representative of a potentially hostile power into your confidence and revealing that your house of cards is missing a card on the bottom layer, are you? Of course not. We are not having this conversation. For the next hour or so we"ll be nibbling titbits in this room. I haven"t even just said this, and you didn"t hear me. But Corporal Littlebottom is the best scene-of-crime officer I"ve got, and so I want her to come along with us."
"You"ve made your point, your excellency. Graphically, as always. Fetch her, then."
Vimes found Cheery standing back to back, or at least back to knees, with Detritus. They were surrounded by a ring of the curious. Whenever Detritus raised his hand to sip his drink the nearby dwarfs jumped back hurriedly.
"Where are we going, sir?"
"Nowhere."
"Ah. That sort of place."