The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

It"d take them a few seconds to get a grip on things, Vimes realized. There were uptown guards here, and an Igor, and a werewolf. They"d be puzzled as well as suspicious. That should give him a tiny crack to lever open. And, ashamed as he was to say it, an arrogant bastard always had the edge.

He glared at the lead dwarf. "What is your name?" he demanded.

"You are under - "

"You know the Scone of Stone was stolen?"

"You... what?"

Vimes reached round and pulled a sack out of the sleigh.

"Bring those torches closer!" he shouted, and because he delivered the command in a tone that said there was no doubt that it"d be obeyed, it was obeyed. I"ve got twenty seconds, he thought, and then the magic goes away.

"Now look at this," he said, lifting the thing out of the sack.

Several dwarfs fell to their knees. The murmuring spread out. Another howl, another rumour... In his current state he could see, in his mind"s bloodshot eye, the towers in the night, clicking and clacking, delivering to Genua exactly the message that had been sent from Ankh-Morpork.

"I want to take this to the King," he said in the hushed silence.

"Wewill take it - " the dwarf began, moving forward.

Vimes stepped aside.

"Good evenin", boys," said Detritus, standing up in the sleigh.

The tortured noises the bow"s springs were making under their preternatural stress sounded like some metal animal in extreme pain. The dwarf was a couple of feet away from several dozen arrow points.

"On the other hand," said Vimes, "we could continue talking. You look like a dwarf who likes to talk."

The dwarf nodded.

"First of all, is there any reason why the two wounded men I have here couldn"t be taken inside before they die of their wounds?"

The bow twitched in Detritus"s hands.

The dwarf nodded.

"They can go inside and be treated?" said Vimes.

The dwarf nodded again, still looking into a bundle of arrows bigger than his head.

"Capital. See how we get on when we simply talk? And now I suggest that you arrest me."

"You want me to arrest you?"

"Yes. And Lady Sybil. We place ourselves under your personal jurisdiction."

"That"s right," said Sybil. "I demand to be arrested." She drew herself up and out, righteous indignation radiating like a bonfire, causing the dwarfs to back away from what was clearly an unexploded bosom.

"And since the arrest of its ambassador will certainly cause... difficulties with Ankh-Morpork," Vimes went on, "I strongly suggest you take us directly to the King."

By blessed chance, the distant tower sent up another flare. Green light illuminated the snows for a moment.

"What"s that mean?" said the dwarf captain.

"It means that Ankh-Morpork knows what"s going on," said Vimes, praying that it did. "And I don"t reckon you want to be the dwarf who started the war."

The dwarf spoke to the dwarf beside him. A third dwarf joined them. Vimes couldn"t follow the hurried conversation, but right behind him Cheery whispered: "It"s a bit beyond him. He doesn"t want anything to happen to the Scone."