He sidled into the embassy, his back to the wall, and groped his way towards the stairs, peering into every doorway. He ran across the expanse of the hallway, did a tumbling roll, and ended up against the far wall.
"Is there anything wrong, sir?" said Cheery. She was watching him from the top of the stairs.
"Er, have you seen anything odd?" said Vimes, dusting himself off self-consciously. "And I realize that we"re talking about a house with Igor in it."
"Could you give me a hint, sir?"
"Wolfgang, godsdammit!"
"But he"s dead, sir. Isn"t he?"
"Not dead enough!"
"Er, what do you want me to do?"
"Where"s Detritus?"
"Polishing his helmet, sir!" said Cheery, on the point of panic.
"What the hell is he wasting time with that for?"
"Er, er, because we"re supposed to leave for the coronation in ten minutes, sir?"
"Oh, yes..."
"Lady Sybil told me to come and find you. In a very distinct tone of voice, sir."
At that point Lady Sybil"s voice boomed along the corridor. "Sam Vimes! You come here!"
"That one, sir," Cheery added helpfully.
Vimes trailed into the bedroom. Sybil was wearing another blue dress, a tiara and a firm expression.
"Is it a posh do?" said Vimes. "I thought if I put on a clean shirt - "
"Your official dress uniform is in the dressing room," said Sybil.
"It was rather a long day yesterday - "
"This is a coronation, Samuel Vimes. It is not a come-as-you-are! Go and get dressed, quickly. Including, and I don"t want to have to say this twice, the helmet with the feathers."
"But not the red tights," said Vimes, hoping against hope. "Please?"
"The red tights, Sam, go without saying."
"They go at the knees," said Vimes, but it was the grumble of the defeated.
"I"ll ring for Igor to come and help you."
"Things will have come to a pretty pass when I can"t put my own tights on, dear, thank you."
Vimes dressed hurriedly, listening for... anything. Some creak in the wrong place, perhaps.
At least this was a Watch uniform, even if it did have buckled shoes. It included a sword. The duking outfit didn"t allow for one, which had always struck Vimes as amazingly stupid. You got made a duke for being a fighter, and then they gave you nothing to fight with.
There was a tinkle of glass back in the bedroom, and Lady Sybil was astonished to see her husband enter at a run with his sword raised.
"I dropped the top of a scent bottle, Sam! What"s up with you? Even Angua says he"s probably miles away and in no shape to cause trouble! Why"re you so nervy?"