The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

They watched him scribble a few lines.

"Stop at the clacks tower and send a message on to the Yard," he said, handing it back to Carrot. "Tell them you"re on the way. Take young Igor here with you and get him settled in, Okay? And make a report to his lordship."

"Er, you"re not coming?" said Carrot.

"Her ladyship and I will take the other coach," said Vimes. "Or buy a sleigh. Very comfy things, sleighs. And we"ll, we"ll just take it a little easier. We"ll see the sights. We"ll dawdle along the way. Understand?"

He saw Angua smile and wondered if Sybil had confided in her.

"Absolutely, sir," said Carrot.

"Oh, and, er, go along to Burleigh Fr Stronginthearm"s, order a couple of dozen of everything off the top of their small arms catalogue, and get them on to the next mail coach due to Bonk for the personal attention of Captain Tantony."

"The mail coach rate will be very expensive, sir..." Carrot began.

"I didn"t want you to tell me that, captain. I wanted you to say, "Yes, sir." "

"Yes, sir."

"And ask at the gate about... three gloomy biddies who live in a big house near here. It"s got a cherry orchard. Find out the address and when you get back send them three coach tickets to Ankh-Morpork."

"Right, sir."

"Well done. Travel safely. I"ll see you in a week. Or two. Three at the outside. All right?"

A few minutes later he stood shivering on the steps, watching the coach disappear into the crisp morning.

He felt a pang of guilt, but it was only a little pang. He gave every day to the Watch and it was time, he thought, for it to give him a week. Or two. Three at the outside.

In fact, he realized, as pangs. went it was barely a ping which was, he recalled, a dialect word for watermeadow. Right now he could see a future, which was more than he"d ever had before.

He locked the door and went back to bed.

On a clear day, from the right vantage point on the Ramtops, a watcher could see a very long way across the plains.

The dwarfs had harnessed mountain streams and built a staircase of locks that rose a mile up from the rolling grasslands, for the use of which they charged not just a pretty penny but a very handsome dollar. Barges were always ascending or descending, making their way down to the river Smarl and the cities of the plain. They carried coal, iron, fireclay, pig treacle and fat, the dull ingredients of the pudding of civilization.

In the sharp, thin air they took several days to get out of sight. On a clear day, you could see next Wednesday.

The captain of one of the barges waiting for the top lock went to tip the dregs of his teapot over the side and saw a small dog sitting on the snowy bank. It sat up and begged, hopefully.

He turned to go back into the cabin when he thought: what a nice little doggie.

It was such a clear thought that it almost seemed to him that he had heard it, but he looked around and there was no one else near him. And dogs certainly couldn"t talk.

He heard himself think: "This little doggie would be very useful keepin" down rats that might attack the cargo, sort of frog."

It must have been his thought, he decided. There was no one else nearby, and everyone knew dogs didn"t talk.

He said aloud, "But rats don"t eat coal, do they?"

He thought, clear as day: "Ah, well, you never know when they might try, right? Anyway, it"s such a sweet-looking little doggie that"s been strugglin" for days through deep snow, huh, not that anyone cares."

The bargeman gave up. There"s only so long you can argue with yourself.

Ten minutes later the barge was on the long drop to the plains, with a small dog sitting at the prow, enjoying the breeze.

On the whole, thought Gaspode, it was always best to look to the future.