The Truth (Discworld 25)

'I'm sorry, but he insisted on waiting for you,' Sacharissa whispered as William sat down. 'What's going on?'

'I'm not sure...' said William, staring hard at his notes.

'Who's been killed?'

'Er, no one... I think...'

That's a mercy, then.' Sacharissa looked down at the papers covering her desk.

I'm afraid we've had five other people in here with humorous vegetables,' she said.

'Oh.'

'Yes. They weren't all that funny, to tell the truth.'

'Oh.'

'No, they mainly looked like... um, you know.'

'Oh... what?'

'You know,' she said, beginning to go red. 'A man's... um, you

know.'

'Oh.'

'Not even very much like, um, you know, too. I mean, you had to want to see a... um, you know... there, if you understand

me.'

William hoped that no one was making notes about this conversation. 'Oh,' he said.

'But I took their names and addresses, just in case,' said Sacharissa. I thought it might be worth it if we're short of stuff.'

'We're never going to be that short,' said William quickly.

'You don't think so?'

I'm positive.'

'You may be right,' she said, looking at the mess of paper on her desk. 'It's been very busy in here while you were out. People have been queueing up with all sorts of news. Things that are going to happen, lost dogs, things they want to sell--'

'That's advertising,' said William, trying to concentrate on his notes. 'If they want it in the paper they have to pay.'

'I don't see that it's up to us to decide--'

William thumped the desk, to his own amazement and Sacharissa's shock.

'Something is happening, do you understand? Something really real is happening. And it's not an amusing shape! It's really serious! And I've got to write it down as soon as possible! Can you just let me do that?'

He realized Sacharissa was staring not at him but at his fist. He followed her gaze.

'Oh, no... what the hell is this?'

A long sharp nail projected straight upwards from the desk, an inch from his hand. It must have been at least six inches long. Pieces of paper had been impaled on it. When he picked it up he saw that it remained upright because it had been hammered through a wooden block.

'It's a spike,' said Sacharissa quietly. 'I, I, er, brought it in to keep our papers tidy. M-my grandfather always uses one. All... all the engravers do. It's... it's sort of a cross between a filing cabinet and a wastepaper basket. I thought it would be useful. Er, it'll save you using the floor.'