The Truth (Discworld 25)

'Excuse me? All I had ready vas the land eels and you said it looked urgent! Vot did you expect me to do? I'm reformed*.'

'That's bad luck, that stuff!' said a dwarf William had come to know as Dozy.

'Oh yes? You zink? Veil, I'm zer vun who is going to have to have his collar laundered!' snapped Otto.

William did his best to comfort Sacharissa, who was still trembling.

'Who were they?' she said.

Tm... not sure, but they certainly wanted Lord Vetinari's dog...'

'I'm sure that she wasn't a proper virgin, you know!'

'Sister Jennifer certainly looked very odd,' was the most William was going to concede.

Sacharissa snorted. 'Oh, no, I was taught by worse than her at school,' she said. 'Sister Credenza could bite through a door... No, it was the language*. I'm sure "ing" is a bad word. She certainly used it like one. I mean, you could tell it was a bad word. And that priest, he had a knifeV ;But the only werewolf I know is in the Watch,' said William. 'So you're just telling me to pay you a hundred dollars so that I could hand Wuffles over to the Watch?'

That'd be a feather in your cap with old Vimes, wouldn't it?' said Deep Bone.

'But you said you didn't trust the Watch, Mr Bone. I do listen to what people say, you know.'

Deep Bone went quiet for a while. Then:

'All right, the dog and an interpreter, one hundred and fifty dollars.'

'And the story this dog could tell deals with events in the palace a few mornings ago?'

'Could be. Could be. Could very well be. Could be exactly the kind of fing I'm referrin' to.'

'I want to see who I'm talking to,' said William.

'Can't do that.'

'Oh, well,' said William. That's reassuring. I'll just go and get a hundred and fifty dollars, shall I, and bring it back to this place and hand it over to you, just like that?'

'Good idea.'

'Not a chance.'

'Oh, so you don't trust me, eh?' said Deep Bone.

'That's right.'

'Er... supposin' I was to tell you a little piece of free news information for gratis and nothin'. A lick of the lolly. A little taste, style of fing.'

'Go on...'

'It wasn't Vetinari who stabbed the other man. It was another man.'

William wrote this down, and then looked at it. 'Exactly how helpful is this?' he said.

That's a good bit of news, that is. Hardly anyone knows it.'

'There's not a lot to know! Isn't there a description?'

'He's got a dog bite on his ankle,' said Deep Bone.

'That'll make him easy to find in the street, won't it? What are you expecting me to do, try a little surreptitious trouser lifting?'