The Truth (Discworld 25) - Page 211

They climbed over a rotting fence and entered the shed via the back door.

People and dogs were squeezing in through the other door and were only held at bay by a barricade of desks and also by Sacharissa, who was looking harassed as she faced a sea of faces and muzzles. William could just make out her voice above the din.

'--no, that's a poodle. It doesn't look a bit like the dog we're after--'

'--no, that's not it. How do I know? Because it's a cat. All right, then why's it washing itself? No, I'm sorry, dogs don't do that--'

'--no, madam, that's a bulldog--'

'--no, that's not it. No, sir, I know that's not it. Because it's a parrot, that's why. You've taught it to bark and you've painted "DoG" on the side of it but it's still a parrot--'

Sacharissa pushed her hair out of her eyes and caught sight of William.

'Well, now, who's been a clever boy?' she said.

'Wh's a cl'r boy? said the DoG.

'How many more out there?'

'Hundreds, I'm afraid,' said William.

'Well, I've just had the most unpleasant half-hour of-- That's a chicken! It's a chicken, you stupid woman, it's just laid an egg\ - of my life and I would like to thank you very much. You'll never guess what happened? No, that's a Shnauswitzer! And you know what, William?'

'What?' said William.

'Some complete muffin offered a reward! In Ankh-Morpork! Can you believe that? They were queueing three deep when I got here! I mean, what kind of idiot would do a thing like that? I mean, one man had a cow! A cowl I had a huge argument about animal physiology before Rocky hit him over the head! The poor troll's out there now trying to keep order! There's ferrets out there!'

'Look, I'm sorry--'

'I wonder, ah, if we can be of any assistance?'

They turned.

The speaker was a priest, dressed in the black, unadorned and unflattering habit of the Omnians. He had a flat, broad-brimmed hat, the Omnians' turtle symbol around his neck, and an expression of almost terminal benevolence.

'Mm, I am Brother Upon-Which-The-Angels-Dance Pin,' said the priest, stepping aside to reveal a mountain in black, 'and this is Sister Jennifer, who is under a vow of silence.'

They stared up at the apparition of Sister Jennifer, while Brother Pin went on: That means she does not, mm, talk. At all. In any circumstances.'

'Oh dear,' said Sacharissa weakly. One of Sister Jennifer's eyes was revolving, in a face that was like a brick wall.

'Yes, mm, and we happened to be in Ankh-Morpork as part of the Bishop Horn Ministry to Animals and heard that you were looking for a little doggie who is in trouble,' said Brother Pin. 'I can see you are, mm, a little overwhelmed, and perhaps we can help? It would be our duty.'

'The dog's a little terrier,' said Sacharissa, 'but you'd be amazed at what people are bringing in--'

'Dear me,' said Brother Pin. 'But Sister Jennifer is very good at this sort of thing

Sister Jennifer strode to the front desk. A man hopefully held up what was clearly a badger.

'He's been a bit ill--'

Sister Jennifer brought her fist down on the man's head.

William winced.

'Sister Jennifer's order believes in tough love,' said Brother Pin. 'A little correction at the right time can prevent a lost soul taking the wrong path.'

'Vich order is this she belongs to, please?' said Otto, as the lost soul carrying his badger staggered out, his legs trying to take several paths at once.

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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