The Truth (Discworld 25)

'You want I should --ing scrag him?'

'Leave him,' said Mr Pin. 'I think I'm going to be nice to people today.'

He had to hand it to Mr Slant. When the New Firm stepped into his office the lawyer looked up and his expression barely flickered.

'Gentlemen?' he said.

'Don't press a --ing thing,' said Mr Tulip.

'There's something you should know,' said Mr Pin, pulling a box out of his jacket.

'And what is that?' said Mr Slant.

Mr Pin flicked a catch on the side of the box.

'Let's hear about yesterday,' he said.

The imp blinked.

'... nyip... nyapnyip... nyapdit... nyip...' it said.

'It's just working its way backwards,' said Mr Pin.

'What is this?' said the lawyer.

'... nyapnyip... sipnyap... nip... is valuable, Mr Pin. So I will not spin this out. What did you do with the dog? Mr Pin's finger touched another lever. '... wheedlewheedle whee... My... clients have long memories and deep pockets. Other killers can be hired. Do you understand me?

There was a tiny 'Ouch' as the Off lever hit the imp on the head.

Mr Slant got up and walked across to an ancient cabinet.

'Would you like a drink, Mr Pin? I am afraid I have only embalming fluid

'Not yet, Mr Slant.'

'... and I think I probably have a banana somewhere

Mr Slant turned, smiling beatifically, at the sound of the smack of Mr Pin catching Mr Tulip's arm.

'I told you I'm gonna --ing kill him--'

'Too late, alas,' said the lawyer, sitting down again. 'Very well, Mr Pin. This is about money, is it?'

'All we're owed, plus another fifty thousand.'

'But you haven't found the dog.'

'Nor have the Watch. And they've got a werewolf. Everyone's looking for the dog. The dog's gone. But that doesn't matter. This little box matters.'

'That is very little in the way of evidence

'Really? You asking us about the dog? Talking about killers? I reckon that Vimes character will niggle away at something like that. He doesn't sound like the sort to let things go.' Mr Pin smiled humourlessly. 'You've got stuff on us but, well, between you and me,' he leaned closer, 'some of the things we've done might be considered, well, tantamount to crimes--'

'All them --ing murders, for a start,' said Mr Tulip, nodding.

'Which, since we are criminals, could be called typical behaviour. Whereas,' Pin went on, 'you're a respectable citizen. Doesn't look good, respectable citizens getting involved in this sort of thing. People talk.'

'To save... misunderstandings,' said Mr Slant, 'I will do you a draft of--'