The Truth (Discworld 25)

'What's that noise?' said Sacharissa.

'It's how an imp remembers,' said William distantly. 'It... sort of plays its life backwards. I used to have an early version of this,' he added.

The noise stopped. The imp said, very apprehensively, 'What happened to it?'

'I took it back to the shop because it wasn't working properly,' said William.

'That's a relief,' said the imp. 'You'd be amazed at some of the terrible things people did to the Mk I. What went wrong with it?'

'It got flung through a third-floor window,' said William, 'for being unhelpful.'

This imp was a little brighter than most of the species. It saluted smartly.

'... wheeeewheedlewheedle nyap-nyark... Testing, testing... seems okay--'

That's Brother Pin!' said Sacharissa.

'--say something, Mr Tulip,' and the voice became the damp growl of Sister Jennifer, 'What'III say? It's not natural, talkin' to a --ing box. This box, Mr Tulip, may be a passport to better times. I thought we were getting the --ing money. Yes, and this 'II help us keep it... nyip-nyip...'

'Go forward a bit,' William commanded.

'--whee... nyip dog has got personality. Personality counts for a lot. And the legal precedents--'

That's Slant!' said Boddony. That lawyer!'

'What shall I do with the jewels!' said Goodmountain.

'... nyipnyip... 7 can add another five thousand dollars in jewels to your fee... nyip... I want to know who's giving me these orders... nyip... not be stupid, either. My... clients have long memories and deep pockets...'In its terror the imp was skipping.

William pressed the Pause button.

'Slant gave him the money,' he said. 'Slant was paying him. Did you hear him mention clients? You understand? This is one of the men who attacked Vetinari! And they had a key to our house?'

'But we can't just keep the money!' said Sacharissa.

William pressed the button again.

'... nyip... they say a lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on...'

'Obviously, we--' Sacharissa began.

He pressed the button.

'Wheeewheedlewheedle lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.'

He pressed the button again.

'Wheeewheedlewheedle can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.'

'Wheeewheedlewheedle round the world before the truth has got its boots on.'

'Wheeewheedle the truth has got its boots on.'

'Are you all right, William?' said Sacharissa, as he stood motionless.

'Delayed shock,' Goodmountain whispered. 'It can take people that way.'

'Mr Goodmountain,' said William sharply, still with his back to them. 'Did you say you could get me another press?'