The Truth (Discworld 25)

He wrenched at his own jacket and tossed the black ribbon aside.

'I never liked zer damn cocoa anyvay,' he said.

'Otto!'

The vampire turned. 'Yes, Villiam? Vot is it you vish?'

That's going too far.' Lord de Worde had gone pale. William had never seen him so obviously frightened before.

'Oh? You say? You think I bite him? Shall I bite you, Mister Lordship? Veil, maybe not, because Villiam here thinks I am a good person.' He pulled Lord de Worde close, so their faces were a few inches apart. 'Now, maybe I have to ask myself, how good am I? Or maybe I just have to ask myself... am I better zan you?' He hesitated for a second or two and then in a sudden movement jerked the man towards him.

With great delicacy, he planted a kiss on Lord de Worde's forehead. Then he put the trembling man back down on the floor and patted him on the head.

'Actually, maybe zer cocoa is not too bad and zer young lady who plays zer harmonium, sometimes she vinks at me,' he said, stepping aside.

Lord de Worde opened his eyes, and looked at William.

'How dare you--'

'Shut up,' said William. 'Now, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen. I'm not going to name names. That's my decision. I don't want my mother to have been married to a traitor, you see. Then there's Rupert. And my sisters. And me, too. I'm protecting the name. That's probably very wrong of me, and I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to disobey you one more time, in fact. I won't tell the truth. Not the whole truth. Besides, I am sure that those who want to know these things will find out soon enough. And I daresay they'll sort it out quietly. You know... just like you do,'

'Traitor?' whispered Lord de Worde.

'That is what people would say.'

Lord de Worde nodded, like a man caught in an unpleasant dream.

'I could not possibly take the money,' he said. 'I wish you joy of it, my son. Because... you are most certainly a de Worde. Good day to you.' He turned and walked away. After a few seconds the distant door creaked open and shut quietly.

William staggered to a pillar. He was shaking. He replayed the meeting in his head. His brain hadn't touched the ground the whole time.

'Are you okay, Villiam?' said Otto.

'I feel sick, but... yeah, I'm all right. Of all the bone-headed, stubborn, self-centred, arrogant--'

'But you make up for it in other vays,' said Otto.

'I meant my father.'

'Oh.'

'He's just so certain he's in the right all the time--'

'Sorry, this is still your father ve're talking about?'

'Are you saying I'm like him?'

'Oh, no. Qvite different. Absolutely qvite different. No similarities votsoever.'

'You didn't need to go that far!' He stopped. 'Did I say "thank you"?'

'No, you did not.'

'Oh, dear.'

'No, you noticed that you didn't, so zat is okay,' said Otto. 'Every day, in every vay, ve get better and better. By the vay, vould you mind pulling this sword out of me? Vot kind of idiot just sticks it in a vampire? All it does is mess up zer linen.'

'Let me help--' William gingerly withdrew the blade.