'It come to me in a flash, sir,' said Detritus. 'I fort: what bastard who sells Slab to kids deserves bein' nailed up by his ears, sir, and... bingo. Dis idea just formed in my head.'
'That's what I thought.'
Cheery Littlebottom looked from one impassive face to the other. The Watchmen's eyes never left each other's face, but the words seemed to come from a little distance, as though both of them were reading an invisible script.
Then Detritus shook his head slowly. 'Musta been a impostor, sir. 'S easy to get helmets like ours. None of my trolls'd do anything like dat. Dat would be police brutality, sir.'
'Glad to hear it. Just for the look of the thing, though, I want you to check the trolls' lockers. The Silicon Anti-Defamation League are on to this one.'
'Yes, sir. An' if I find out it was one of my trolls I will be down on dat troll like a ton of rectang'lar buildin' things, sir.'
'Fine. Well, off you go, Littlebottom. Detritus will look after you.'
Littlebottom hesitated. This was uncanny. The man hadn't mentioned axes, or gold. He hadn't even said anything like 'You can make it big in the Watch'. Littlebottom felt really unbalanced.
'Er... I did tell you my name, didn't I, sir?'
'Yes. Got it down here,' said Vimes. 'Cheery Littlebottom. Yes?'
'Er... yes. That's right. Well, thank you, sir.'
Vimes listened to them go down the passage. Then he carefully shut the door and put his coat over his head so that no one would hear him laughing.
'Cheery Littlebottom!'
Cheery ran after the troll called Detritus. The Watch House was beginning to fill up. And it was clear that the Watch dealt with all sorts of things, and that many of them involved shouting.
Two uniformed trolls were standing in front of Sergeant Colon's high desk, with a slightly smaller troll between them. This troll was wearing a downcast expression. It was also wearing a tutu and had a small pair of gauze wings glued to its back.
' - happen to know that trolls don't have any tradition of a Tooth Fairy,' Colon was saying. 'Especially not one called' - he looked down -'Clinkerbell. So how about it we just call it breaking and entering without a Thieves' Guild licence?'
'Is racial prejudice, not letting trolls have a Tooth Fairy,' Clinker bell muttered.
One of the troll guards upended a sack on the desk. Various items of silverware cascaded over the paperwork.
'And this is what you found under their pillows, was it?' said Colon.
'Bless dere little hearts,' said Clinkerbell.
At the next desk a tired dwarf was arguing with a vampire. 'Look,' he said, 'it's not murder. You're dead already, right?'
'He stuck them right in me!'
'Well, I've been down to interview the manager and he said it was an accident. He said he's got nothing against vampires at all. He says he was merely carrying three boxes of HB Eraser Tips and tripped over the edge of your cloak.'
'I don't see why I can't work where I like!'
'Yes, but... in a pencil factory?'
Detritus looked down at Littlebottom and grinned. 'Welcome to life in der big city, Little-bottom,' he said. 'Dat's an int'restin' name.'
'Is it?'
'Most dwarfs have names like Rockheaver or Stronginthearm.'
'Do they?'
Detritus was not one for the fine detail of relationships, but the edge in Littlebottom's voice got through to him. S a good name, though,' he said.