Finally one said, 'It's astonishing. Frankly astonishing. The man has actually got charisn'tma.'
'Your meaning?'
'I mean he's so dreadful he fascinates people. Like those stories he was telling... Did you notice how people kept encouraging him because they couldn't actually believe anyone would tell jokes like that in mixed company?'
'Actually, I rather liked the one about the very small man playing the piano - '
'And his table manners! Did you notice them?'
'No.'
'Ex-actly!'
'And the smell, don't forget the smell.'
'Not so much bad as ... odd.'
'Actually, I found that after a few minutes the nose shuts down and then it's - '
'My point is that, in some strange way, he attracts people.'
'Like a public hanging.'
There was a period of reflective silence.
'Good humoured little tit, though, in his way.'
'Not too bright, though.'
'Give him his pint of beer and a plate of whatever those things with toenails were and he seems as happy as a pig in muck.'
'I think that's somewhat insulting.'
Tm sorry.'
'I've known some splendid pigs.'
'Indeed.'
'But I can certainly see him drinking his beer and eating feet while he signs the royal proclamations.'
'Yes, indeed. Er. Do you think he can read?'
'Does it matter?'
There was some more silence, filled with the busy racing of minds.
Then someone said, 'Another thing... we won't have to worry about establishing a royal succession that might be inconvenient.'
'Why do you think that?'
'Can you see any princess marrying him?'
'We-ell... they have been known to kiss frogs...'
'Frogs, I grant you.'
'... And, of course, power and royalty are powerful aphrodisiacs...'