With a panicky look, Sergeant Colon swung a leg over the bull's huge back and slid down to the ground. Vimes grabbed him and hustled him into a doorway. Then he hustled him out again. A doorway was far too confined a space in which to be anywhere near Fred Colon.
'Why are you all covered in crap, Fred?'
'Well, sir, you know that creek that you're up without a paddle? It started there and it's got worse,
sir.
'Good grief. Worse than that?'
'Permission to go and have a bath, sir?'
'No, but you could stand back a few more feet. What happened to your helmet?'
'Last time I saw it, it was on a sheep, sir. Sir, I was tied up and shoved in a cellar and heroically broke free, sir! And I was chased by one of them golems, sir!'
'Where was this?'
Colon had hoped he wouldn't be asked that. 'It was a place in the Shambles,' he said. 'It was foggy, so I - '
Vimes grabbed Colon's wrists. 'What's this?'
They tied me up with string, sir! But at great pers'nal risk of life and limb I - '
This doesn't look like string to me,' said Vimes.
'No, sir?'
'No, this looks like... candlewick.'
Colon looked blank.
That a Clue, sir?' he said, hopefully.
There was a splatting noise as Vimes slapped him on the back. 'Well done, Fred,' he said, wiping his hand on his trousers. 'It's certainly a corroboration.'
That's what I thought!' said Colon quickly. This is a corrobolaration and I've got to get it to Commander Vimes as soon as possible regardless of - '
'Why's that gnome nutting that bull, Fred?'
That's Wee Mad Arthur, sir. We owe him a dollar. He was ... of some help, sir.'
Rogers the bulls were on their knees, dazed and bewildered. It wasn't that Wee Mad Arthur was capable of delivering a killing blow, but he just didn't stop. After a while the noise and the thumping got on people's nerves.
'Should we help him?' said Vimes.
'Looks like he's doing all right by himself, sir,' said Colon.
Wee Mad Arthur looked up and grinned. 'One dollar, right?' he shouted. 'No welching or I'll come after yez! One of these buggers trod on me grandpa once!'
'Was he hurt?'
'He got one of his horns twisted right orf!'
Vimes took Sergeant Colon firmly by the arm. 'Come on, Fred, it's all hitting the street now!'
'Right, sir! And most of it's splashing!'
'I say! You there! You're a watchman, aren't you? Come over here!'