'You didn't come into this room?'
Vimes kept his gaze fixed somewhere on the horizon. 'Why should I have done that, sir?'
The Patrician tapped the axe handle. It vibrated with a faint thumping noise. 'I believe some of the City Council met in here this morning. Or came in here, at least. I'm told they hurried out very quickly. Looking rather disturbed, I'm told.'
'Maybe it was one of them that did it, sir.'
'That is, of course, a possibility,' said Lord Vetinari. 'I suppose you won't be able to find one of your famous Clues on the thing?'
'Shouldn't think so, sir. Not with all these fingerprints on it.'
'It would be a terrible thing, would it not, if people thought they could take the law into their own hands...'
'Oh, no fear of that, sir. I'm holding on tightly to it.'
Lord Vetinari plunked the axe again. 'Tell me, Sir Samuel, do you know the phrase Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? ?'
It was an expression Carrot had occasionally used, but Vimes was not in the mood to admit anything. 'Can't say that I do, sir,' he said. 'Something about trifle, is it?'
'It means Who guards the guards themselves? , Sir Samuel.'
'Ah.'
'Well?'
'Sir?'
'Who watches the Watch? I wonder?'
'Oh, that's easy, sir. We watch one another.'
'Really? An intriguing point...'
Lord Vetinari walked out of the room and back into the main hall, with Vimes trailing behind. 'However,' he said, 'in order to keep the peace, the golem will have to be destroyed.'
'No, sir.'
'Allow me to repeat my instruction.'
'No, sir.'
'I'm sure I just gave you an order, Commander. I distinctly felt my lips move.'
'No, sir. He's alive, sir.'
'He's just made of clay, Vimes.'
'Aren't we all, sir? According to them pamphlets Constable Visit keeps handing out. Anyway, he thinks he's alive, and that's good enough for me.'
The Patrician waved a hand towards the stairs and his office full of paper. 'Nevertheless, Commander, I've had no less than nine missives from leading religious figures declaring that he is an abomination.'
'Yes, sir. I've given that viewpoint a lot of thought, sir, and reached the following conclusion: arseholes to the lot of 'em, sir.'
The Patrician's hand covered his mouth for a moment. 'Sir Samuel, you are a harsh negotiator. Surely you can give and take?'
'Couldn't say, sir.' Vimes walked to the main doors and pushed them open. 'Fog's lifted, sir,' he said. There's a bit of cloud but you can see all the way across the Brass Bridge - '
'What will you use the golem for?'