Thud! (Discworld 34)

Vimes hesitated in mid thump, and then carefully put down the loaf.

"How?" he said.

"You"ve been adding up the numbers wrong," said the imp. "You don"t always carry the tens."

"And how would you know that?" Vimes demanded. "You mutter to yourself," said the imp.

"You eavesdrop on me?"

"It"s my job! I can"t switch my ears off! I have to listen! That"s how I know about the appointments!"

Vimes picked up the Petty Cash report and glanced at the messy columns of figures. He prided himself on what he had, since infancy, called "sums: Yes, he knew he plodded a bit, but he got there in the end.

"You think you could do better?" he said.

"Let me out and give me a pencil!" said the imp. Vimes shrugged. It had been a strange day, after all. He opened the little cage door.

The imp was a very pale green and translucent, a creature made out of little more than coloured air, but it was able to grip the tiny pencil stub. It ran up and down the column of figures in the petty cash book and, Vimes was pleased to hear, it muttered to itself.

"It"s out by three dollars and five pence," it reported after a few seconds.

"That"s fine, then," said Vimes.

"But the money is not accounted for!"

"Oh yes it is," said Vimes. "It was stolen by Nobby Nobbs. It always is. He never steals more than four dollars fifty."

"Would you like me to make an appointment for a disciplinary interview?" said the imp, hopefully.

"Of course not. I"m signing it off now. Er, thank you. Can you add up the other dockets?"

The imp beamed. "Absolutely!"

Vimes left it scribbling happily and walked over to the window.

They don"t acknowledge our law and they undermine our city. That"s

not just a bunch of deep-downers here to keep their fellow dwarfs on the

straight and narrow. How far do those tunnels go? Dwarfs dig like crazy.

But why here? What are they looking for? As sure as any hell you choose,

there"s no treasure trove under this city, no sleeping dragon, no secret

kingdom. There"s just water and mud and darkness.

How far do they go? How much- Hold on, we know this, we know

this, don"t we? We know about numbers and figures in today"s

Watch...

"Imp?" he said, turning round. "Yes, Insert Name Here?"

"You see that big pile of paper in the corner?" said Vimes, pointing. "Somewhere in there are the gate guard reports for the past six months. Can you compare them with last week"s? Can you compare

the number of dunny wagons leaving the city?"