"Dat"s der- You know, fur, big ears-"
"Bunny?"
"Right! Bash one dwarf an" sneak out? No troll"d stop at one, Mister Vimes. It"s like you people an" peanuts. Der game got dat right."
"What"s this game?"
"You never played Thud?" Chrysoprase looked surprised.
"Oh, that. I don"t play games," said Vimes. "And on the subject of Slab, you do run the biggest pipeline. Just between you and me, here and now."
"Nah, I"m out o" dat whole t"ing," said Chrysoprase, waving his cigar dismissively. "You could say I am seein" der error o" my ways. From now on it"s clean livin" straight down der middle. Property an" financial services, dat is der way forward."
"Glad to hear it."
"Besides, der kids are movin" in," Chrysoprase went on. "Sediment"ry trash. And dey cuts Slab wi" bad sulphides an" cooks it up wi" ferric chloride an" crap like dat. You thought Slab was bad? You wait till you see Slide. Slab makes a troll go an" sit down to watch all der pretty colours, be no trouble to no one, nice and quiet. But Slide make him feel like him der biggest, strongest troll in der worl", don"t need sleep, don"t need food. After a few weeks, don"t need life. Dat ain"t for me."
"Yes, why kill your customers?" said Vimes.
"Low blow, Mister Vimes, low blow. Nah, der new kids, half der time dey on Slide theyselves. Too much fightin", too much of no respec"." He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "I know names an" places:
"It"s your duty as a good citizen to tell me, then," said Vimes. Ye gods, what does he think I am? But I want those names. Slide sounds nasty. Right now we need battle-crazy trolls like we need a hole in the head, which we"ll probably end up getting.
"Can"t tell you. Dat der problem," said Chrysoprase. "This ain"t der time. You know what"s happenin" out dere. If der stupid dwarfs want to fight we"ll need every troll. Dat"s what I sayin". I tellin" my people, give Vimes a chance. Be good citizens, not rockin" around der boat. People still listenin" to me an" my ... associates. But not for much longer. I hope you on der case, Mister Vimes?"
"Captain Carrot is investigating right now," said Vimes.
Chrysoprase"s eyes narrowed again. "Carrot Ironfoundersson?" he said. "Der big dwarf? He a lovely boy, bright as a button, but to trolls dat won"t look so good, I tell you flat."
"It doesn"t look that good to dwarfs, if it comes to that," said Vimes. "But it"s my Watch. I"ll not be told who I put on what case."
"You trust him?" said Chrysoprase.
"Yes!"
"Okay, he a finker, he shiny. But ... Ironfoundersson? Dwarf name. Dat a problem right dere. But der name Vimes ... Dat name means a lot. Can"t be bribed, he once arrested the Patrician, not der sharpest knife in the drawer but honest like anyt"ing and he don"t stop diggin"." Chrysoprase caught Vimes"s expression. "Dat"s what dey say. I wishin" Vimes was on dis case, "cos him like me, bareknuckle boy, he get at der truth soon enough. And to him I say: no troll did dat t"ing, not like dat.
Forget that he"s talking street troll, Vimes told himself. That"s just to seem like a good ol troll. This is Chrysoprase. He beat out most of the old-style mobsters, who were pretty sharp players themselves, and he holds off the Thieves" Guild with one hand. And that"s without sitting in a pile of snow. You know he"s right. But ... not the sharpest knife in the drawer? Thank you so very much!
But Captain Carrot was shiny, was he? Vimes"s mind always looked for connections, and came up with: "Who is Mr Shine?"
Chrysoprase was absolutely still, the only motion the greenish smoke spiralling up from the cigar. Then, when he spoke, his air was uncharacteristically jovial.
"Him? Oh, a story for kids. Kinda like a troll legend from der faroff days o" long ahead," he said. [1]
"Like a folk hero?"
"Yeah, that kinda t"ing. Kinda silly t"ing people talk about when times is tricky. Just a willie der wisp, not real. Dis is modern times."
[1] Troll lore says that living creatures actually move backwards through time. It"s complicated.
And that seemed to be that.
Vimes stood up. "All right, I"ve heard what you say," he said. "And now I"ve got a Watch to run."
Chrysoprase puffed his cigar and flicked the ash into the frost, where it sizzled. "You goin" back to der Watch House by way o" Turn Again Lane?" he said.
"No, that"s well out of-" Vimes stopped. There had been a hint of suggestion in the troll"s voice.