"Believe me, young man, I wish it were possible to keep you in that happy state," said the hooded figure. "However, my hand is forced."
Mr Shine stepped forward, pulling a rangy figure into the room. It was a troll, whose look of sullen defiance did not quite manage to conceal knee-knocking terror.
"This is Brick, captain. I deliver him back into the personal custody of your Sergeant Detritus. He has information of use to you. I have heard his story. I believe him. You must move fast. The Summoning Dark may already have found a champion. What else ... oh yes, be sure not to keep that symbol in a dark place. Keep light around it at all times. And now, if you will excuse the theatricals-"
The black robe twitched. Hard, white, blinding light filled the room for a second. When it had gone, so had Mr Shine. All that was left was a large, egg-shaped stone on the stained floor.
Carrot blinked, and then pulled himself together. "All right, you heard," he said to the suddenly animated room at large. "No one is to follow Mr Shine, understood?"
"Follow him, captain?" said a dwarf. "We"re not mad, you know!" "Dat"s right," said a troll. "Dey say he can reach inside o" you an" stop your heart!"
"Mr Shine?" said Angua. "Is he what they"ve been writing about on the walls?"
"It looks like that, said Carrot shortly. "And he said we don"t have much time. Mr ... Brick, was it?"
Whereas Chrysoprase"s trolls had contrived to swagger while standing still, Brick just managed to huddle all alone. You usually need two to huddle, but here was a troll trying to hide behind himself. No one could have hidden behind Brick: for a troll he was stick thin to the point of knobbliness. His lichen was cheap and matted, not the real thing at all, probably the stuff they made up out of broccoli stalks in the back alleys of Quarry Lane. His belt of skulls was a disgrace; some of them were clearly the papier-mache kind that could be bought from any joke shop. One had a red nose.
He looked around nervously, and there was a thud as his club dropped from his fingers.
"I"m in deep copro, right?" he said.
"Certainly we need to talk to you," said Carrot. "Do you want a lawyer?"
"No, I ate already."
"You eat lawyers?" said Carrot.
Brick gave him an empty stare until sufficient brain had been mustered.
"What d"y"call dem fangs, dey kinda crumble when you eat dem?" he ventured.
Carrot looked at Detritus and Angua, to see if there was going to be any help there.
"Could be lawyers," he conceded.
"Dey go soggy if you dips "em in somefing," said Brick, as if undertaking a forensic examination.
"More likely to be biscuits, then?" Carrot suggested.
"Could be. Inna packet wi" all paper on. Yeah, biscuits."
"What I meant," said Carrot, "was: when we talk to you, do you want someone to be on your side?"
"Yes, please. Everyone," said Brick promptly. To be centre of attention in a roomful of watchmen was his worst nightmare. No, hold on, what about dat time when he had dat bad Slab wot had bin cut wi" ammonium nitrate? Whooo! Goodbye lobes! Yep! Den dis was his second worst nightmar- No, come to fink of it, dere was
dis time when he had dat stuff wot Hardcore jacked off"f One-Eyed Goddam, whee, yes! Who knows where dat had bin! All dem dancin" teef! So dis was his- Hey, wait, remember dat time you got lunched on Scrape an" your arms flew away? Okay, dat was bad, so maybe dis was his ... Wait, wait, of course, can"t be forgetting der day when you got baked on Sliver and blew powdered zinc up your nose an" thought you"d thrown up your feet? -Aargh, here come dat time again when you"d, aargh no, when you"d, aargh
Brick had got as far as his nineteenth worst nightmare before Carrot"s voice cut through the snakes.
"Mr Brick?"
"Er ... is dat still me?" said Brick nervously. He could really, really do some Slab right now ...
"Generally your advocate is one person," said Carrot. "We"re going to have to ask you some difficult questions. You"re allowed to have someone to help you. Perhaps you have a friend we could fetch?"
Brick pondered this. The only people he could think of in this context were Totally Slag and Big Marble, although more correctly they fell into the category of "people dat don"t fro fings at me much and let me glom a bit o" slab sometimes" Right now, these did not seem ideal qualifications.
He pointed to Sergeant Detritus. "Him," he said. "He helped me find my teef."