Monstrous Regiment (Discworld 31)

"Yes, Perks. And your point is...?"

"And the people who get those messages send messages back the same way?" Polly persevered.

"Yes, Perks, that is the whole idea."

"Then... maybe we don't have to go all the way to that hill, sir? The light is being aimed towards us, sir."

They all turned. The hill they were skirting loomed above them.

"Well done, Perks!" Blouse whispered. "Let's go, sergeant!" He swung himself off the horse, which automatically stepped sideways to make sure that he fell over when he landed.

"Right you are, sir!" said Jackrum, helping him up. "Maladict, you take Goom and Halter and circle round to the left, the rest go round to the right - not you, Carborundum, no offence, but this has got to be quiet, okay? You stay here. Perks, you come with me - "

"I shall come too, sergeant," said Blouse, and only Polly saw Jackrum grimace.

"Good idea, sir!" said the sergeant. "I suggest you - I suggest Perks and I come with you. Everyone got that? Get to the top neat and quiet and no one, no one moves until you hear my signal - "

"My signal," said Blouse firmly.

"That's what I meant, sir. Quick and quiet! Hit 'em hard but I want at least one left alive! Go!"

The two teams fanned out to right and left and disappeared. The sergeant gave them a minute or two's start, and then set off with unusual speed for a man of his girth, so that for a moment Polly and the lieutenant were left standing. Behind them, a dejected Jade watched them go.

The trees thinned out on the steep slope, but not enough for much underbrush to get a hold. Polly found it easier to go on all fours, grabbing at tufts and saplings to steady herself. After a while she caught a whiff of smoke, chemical and acrid.

She was sure, too, that she could hear a faint clicking noise.

A tree extended a hand and pulled her into its shadow. "Don't you say a bleedin' word," hissed Jackrum. "Where's the rupert?"

"Don't know, sarge!"

"Damn! You can't let a rupert run around loose, there's no tellin' what he might take it into his little head to do, now he's got the idea he's in charge! You're 'is minder! Find 'im!"

Polly slithered back down the slope and found Blouse steadying himself against a tree, wheezing gently.

"Ah... Perks," he panted. "My asthma seems to... be... coming back..."

"I'll help you up, sir," said Polly, grabbing his hand and tugging him forward. "Could you wheeze a little more quietly, sir?"

By degrees, dragging and pushing, she bundled the man up to Jackrum's tree.

"Glad you could join us, sir!" hissed the sergeant, face contorted into an expression of maddened affability. "If you'd care to wait here, Perks and me will crawl up the - "

"I'm coming too, sergeant," Blouse insisted.

Jackrum hesitated. "Yessir," he said. "But with respect, sir, I know about skirmishing - "

"Let's go, sergeant," said Blouse, dropping flat and beginning to drag himself forward.

"Yessir," muttered Jackrum darkly.

Polly eased her way forward, too. The grass here was shorter, rabbit-nibbled, with small bushes here and there. She concentrated on keeping the noise down, and aimed for the clicking. The smell of chemical smoke grew stronger. It hung in the air around her. And, as she moved forward, she saw light, little specks of it. She raised her head.

There were three men a few feet away, silhouetted against the night. One of them was holding a large pipe, about five feet long, balanced on his shoulder at one end and on a tripod at the other. That end was aimed at the distant hill. On the other end, a foot or so behind the man's head, was a big square box. Light was leaking from joints in this; from a little stovepipe chimney on the top of it, heavy smoke poured out.

"Perks, on the count of three," said Jackrum, on Polly's right. "One - "

"As you were, sergeant," said Blouse quietly, on her left.