Monstrous Regiment (Discworld 31)

Polly pulled his sword out of his scabbard. The space was too crowded to do much with it except threaten, but she had it, not him. It made a huge difference.

"You're already in trouble," she said. "Please don't force me to make it worse. Let's get out of here. Is that okay, Daphne?"

"Um... yes, of course," said Blouse.

The other guard laid a hand on his own sword.

"Okay, girls, this has gone - " he began, and then slumped. Shufti lowered her copper stick.

"I hope I didn't hit him too hard," she said.

"Who cares? Come on, I can give you all a hand up," said Tonker.

"Igorina, could you have a look at him, and - " Shufti began nervously.

"He's a man, and he's groaning," said Tonker from above. "That's good enough for me. Come on."

The lone guard watched as the others were womanhandled onto the beams.

"Er, excuse me," he said to Polly, as she helped Blouse up.

"Yes? What?"

"Would you mind giving me a wallop on the back of the head?" he said, looking wretched. "So that it doesn't look like I didn't put up a fight against a bunch of women."

"Why don't you put up a fight?" said Polly, narrowing her eyes. "We're only a bunch of women."

"I'm not crazy!" said the guard.

"Here, let me," said Igorina, producing her stick. "Blows to the head are potentially harmful and should not be undertaken lightly. Turn round, sir. Remove your helmet, please. Would twenty minutes' unconsciousness be okay?"

"Yes, thanks very mu - "

The guard folded up.

"I really hope I didn't hurt the other one," moaned Shufti, from above.

"He's swearing," said Polly, removing his sword. "That sounds like he's okay."

She handed up the candles, and then was hauled onto the trembling roof of the elevator. When she had a firm footing in the mouth of the tunnel she found a sliver of stone and stamped it hard into the space between the shaft wall and the wooden frame, which shook. It wasn't going anywhere for a while.

Tonker and Lofty were already investigating the tunnel. By candlelight, it looked like good masonry beyond the clumsy attempt at walling it up.

"It must be cellars," said Tonker. "I reckon they must've made the shaft not long ago and just walled up where it cut through. Could have done a better job, too."

"Cellars are close to dungeons," said Polly. "Now, pinch out one candle, because that way we'll have light for twice as long, and then - "

"Perks, a word please?" said Blouse. "Over here?"

"Yessir."

When they were standing a little apart from the rest of the squad, Blouse lowered his voice and said: "I don't wish to discourage initiative, Perks, but what are you doing?"

"Er... anticipating your orders, sir."

"Anticipating them?"

"Yessir."