Making Money (Discworld 36)

'Ah, yes, the gold vault,' said the captain. 'Can we talk about the gold for a moment?'

'What's wrong with the gold?'

'I was hoping you could tell us, sir. I believe you wanted to sell it to the dwarfs?'

'What? Well, yes, I said that, but it was only to make a point - '

'A point,' said Captain Carrot solemnly, writing this down.

'Look, I know how this sort of thing goes,' said Moist. 'You just keep me talking in the hope that I'll suddenly forget where I am and say something stupid and incriminating, right?'

'Thank you for that, sir,' said Captain Carrot, turning over another page in his notebook.

'Thank me for what?'

'For telling me you know how this sort of thing goes, sir.'

See? Moist told himself. This is what happens when you get too comfortable. You lose the edge. Even a copper can outsmart you.

The captain looked up. 'I will tell you, Mr Lipwig, that some of what you say has been corroborated by an unbiased witness who could not possibly be an accomplice.'

'You talked to Gladys?' said Moist.

'Gladys being?'

'She's the one going on about dirty boots.'

'How can a golem be a "she", sir?'

'Ah, I know this one. The correct answer is: how can a golem be a "he"?'

'An interesting point, sir. That explains the dress, then. Out of interest, how much weight would you say a golem can carry?'

'I don't know. A couple of tons, maybe. What are you getting at?'

'I don't know, sir,' said Carrot cheerfully. 'Commander Vimes says, when life hands you a mess of spaghetti, just keep pulling until you find the meatball. In fact your version of events agrees, insofar as he understood things at the time, with that given to us by a Mr Fusspot.'

'You talked to the dog?'

'Well, he is the chairman of the bank, sir,' said the captain.

'How did you understand what -  Ah, you have a werewolf, right?' said Moist, grinning.

'We don't confirm that, sir.'

'Everyone knows it's Nobby Nobbs, you know.'

'Do they, sir? Gosh. Anyway, your movements this evening are accounted for.'

'Good. Thank you.' Moist started to rise.

'However, your movements earlier this week, sir, are not.' Moist sat down again.

'Well? I don't have to account for them, do I?'

'It might help us, sir.'

'How would it help you?'