“Yes. It’s one of your father’s developments, but obviously not one at the highest end. This is still an amazing apartment though, Brianna. You ought to see where I lived before I started working for your father. I lived in a studio apartment-one room and a bathroom.
“I can’t imagine. My closets are the size of your whole apartment. That’s why the thought of having to get somewhere myself on the limited budget my mom and Roger has given me kinda freaked me out.” She slumped onto the couch.
“What’s your budget?”
“Three million dollars.”
My jaw dropped. “Brianna. Three million dollars is not a limited budget.”
“It is when you’re Brianna King.” She replied.
I switched the heating on. “It’ll take a while to warm up with it having been empty for a while.”
“That’s okay. I’ll pretend I’m in a plunge pool.” She replied. “It’s good for your health.”
I returned to the living room carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Right, Brianna.” I told her. “The first few hours of this new year have sucked, so it’s time to drown our sorrows and crash out.”
Brianna took a glass from me.
“Well I didn’t think I’d be in a tiny apartment drinking wine with my stepmonster at New Year’s.” She said. “Yeah, well I’m not sure I’m going to be your stepmonster much longer.” I took a drink of my wine. “I think we rushed it. Your father isn’t who I thought he was.”
“You can’t leave him,” she said. “I just got someone I can talk to.” She laughed, and it was nice to see a genuine smile light up her face. “I just thought. I need to teach you to be rich and you need to teach me to be poor.”
“Poorer, Brianna. The last thing you need to be saying if you live in a 3 million dollar apartment is that you’re poor. Anyway, that’s the money your mom has given you. Your father will no doubt have an apartment he can subsidize for you. That’s how I rent this. As staff I qualified for a subsidized rental. As his daughter he’ll probably just tell you to pick one.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want anything from Elias. I’d ask Roger to adopt me, but he doesn’t want me either. What was your surname? I might choose that and pretend you’re my real mom.” She giggled.
“I’m like five years older than you.” I swatted her arm.
We chatted almost until six am. Brianna told me about her upbringing and I shared mine. Our lives were worlds apart and yet we shared the common ground of her father. I realized that vast wealth was normal to Brianna and that it was unrealistic to expect her suddenly to change overnight. She didn’t understand what it was like to watch every dollar. It didn’t mean I couldn’t begin to show her though.
I’d decided that for now I would live off some of my savings and take a break. At this time I couldn’t return to work for Eli with things as they were. I’d have to call him tomorrow.
The wine made me an unhappy drunk and as I left Brianna who’d fallen asleep on the couch and crawled under my comforter, I missed Eli. We’d only been together for fifteen days and yet sleeping without him just didn’t seem right. My bed was extra cold because of the lack of heating and as I tried to sleep, I wished for those strong warm arms enveloping me. But I knew, as much as I missed him and as much as we needed to talk our own issues through, until he’d sorted out his relationship with his daughter, we had no future. Had he really meant what he’d said about children? If so, my marriage was over before it had fully begun.
Eli
What the hell had happened in the space of a few hours? One moment I was about to announce the happiest news of my recent life and then my wife had left me. I poured myself a scotch, sat back in my leather chair at my desk and I powered up my laptop, retrieving the disks from my drawer. I placed one inside and pressed the screen, flipping through the photos. Brianna when she was first born, as a toddler, her first day at school, her ninth birthday taken just before her mom and my marriage ended. Reflecting, I knew that our marriage had never been a particularly happy one, but I’d not realized how I’d placed some of my anger and frustration on my daughter’s shoulders. Looking back at the early photos I saw the adoration in my eyes, remembered it. That utter pride at meeting my daughter, my flesh and blood. But she’d been a mommy’s girl, and I’d let that be an excuse to go to work more.
It was like someone had removed the blindfold from my face as I saw things from my daughter’s point of view. A father who couldn’t put up with her attention seeking behavior and tried to get rid of her as soon as possible, by sending her back to her mother with more money in her account. But she’d not wanted money. She’d wanted a dad.
She was right. I was a complete failure as a parent. In fact, as the truth dawned on me, hurtling at me like a tsunami, I found myself rushing to the bathroom where I emptied out the contents of my stomach.
I needed to take stock. Alex had shown me my true self, and I realized that she was right. At the moment I couldn’t be a husband to Alex because I needed to work out how to be a father to Brianna.
Was my marriage over as simply as that?
I found the invitation for Katrina’s wedding, picked up the phone and called her. We’d barely spoken in fourteen years and maybe that was part of the problem.
Katrina didn’t answer her phone. She was probably too busy celebrating the New Year. I took myself up to bed and stared for a few minutes at the lack of an Alex being in it. Then I stripped off, discarding my clothes on the floor and climbed beneath the covers. Alex’s scent, a smell of berries rose from the sheets and I inhaled deeply and then I cried like a baby for everything I’d fucked up.
Midday, the following day I finally managed to get hold of Katrina and told her everything that had happened and what Alex had made me realize.
“This Alex sounds like quite somebody.”
“She is.”
“Well, I’m pleased for you. Roger is my somebody.”