I didn’t respond, taking on a calmer demeanor so that the horse wouldn’t pick up on the emotions that were bouncing back and forth between the second oldest Killarny brother and I. Horses had a way of picking up on human energy and if this mare thought that we were a threat to her then she wasn’t going to be very happy about what I was about to do. I gave Alex a look to let him know I wasn’t playing around and went back to my work.
I turned back to the mare, my arm now almost elbow deep in the animal as Alex rolled his eyes and looked away, shaking his head. He was holding her tail out of the way for me as I felt for the tell-tale signs in her womb. Sure enough, this one was pregnant as well, bringing the grand total so far to seven.
“You’re going to have plenty of foals around here when spring rolls around next year. I’ll be by for regular checks and as often as you need me to look at them and the rest of the herd, but so far everything looks good.”
“Glad to hear it,” Alex said as he let go of the horse’s tail and stepped away.
“Your animals all appear to be in great health, so I don’t really have any concerns about any of them having trouble foaling.”
I went over to one of the sinks and began washing up and packing my things away. Alex followed behind me slowly.
“You have no right to hate me,” he said evenly as he watched me washing my hands. His eyes lingered where a bead of sweat was trailing down my neck and creeping down to the valley between my breasts. I didn’t say anything but watched him watching me and could feel my nipples harden and rise at the thought of him wanting me. A flush came over my chest, and I knew that it was showing. My pale skin always showed the slightest hint of blush, and I could see in Alex’s eyes that he noticed. The man knew what he was doing to me, and I hated it.
“I don’t? Well, Alex…my mother is dead because of what your father did to my father. We were doing the very best for her that we could and the lease agreement your father pushed mine into nearly ruined him. It was all he could do to continue to stay afloat.”
“I told you,” he began firmly, “I am sorry for what my father did. But what was I supposed to do? I was eighteen…a kid. We were both kids. It was a terrible thing that happened, but it was also out of our control completely.”
I turned off the water and shook my hands off, reaching for a clean towel to dry them on.
“You know, maybe I could take that for what it was if I hadn’t lost my mother. And I’m sorry Alex until you’ve felt that pain you have literally no idea what it is to go through life without your mom.”
He cleared his throat. “You’re not wrong about that. But I do know.”
I was confused and waited for him to explain.
“My mother passed away. Cancer. A few years ago.”
The words send a stab of pain to my heart. Emily Killarny was one of the kindest women I had ever met. Fiercely protective of her boys and wanting the very best for them, she had been so welcoming to me during the four years I had dated Alex. I wanted to reach out and pull him close, but resisted the urge to take him in my arms. It was empathy and nothing more and now wasn’t the time to express that to him.
“I am so sorry. I hadn’t heard.”
“I figured your father would have told you.”
I took a breath. “You might be surprised to find out that the Killarny name isn’t often spoken in his household.”
Alex nodded, and I thought that might have been all there was to say, but he remained standing there, leaving us in an uncomfortable silence until I broke it once more.
“You couldn’t have expected me to continue seeing you given what had happened. My loyalty was and is to my family, not to…”
“Not to me…” he nodded. “I understand that. But you know that mine was—”
I held up my hands. “Stop. I did not come here to listen to this from you. Whatever your feelings were then, that’s what they were, and nothing can change all of that. It was ten years ago. We let it go too long without speaking to each other and confronting it, but now we have, and it’s done. I just want you to let me live in this town in peace and do my job. That’s what I came here for—to do this job well and to take care of my father. Not to hash out some argument from ten years ago or rekindle something that has been gone a long time. I’ll stay out of your way if you’ll stay out of mine.”
Alex’s lips were pursed as he turned and walked out of the back of the stable. The discussion was over as far as I was concerned, and I was happy to leave things were they had fallen. There was nothing we could do about the past, and maybe he was right—I had treated him pretty harshly back then, but what else was I expected to do? I was an eighteen year old girl, grieving for her mother who was dying, thanks in no small part to the actions of my boyfriend’s father.
I hadn’t known about Emily Killarny though and wished now that I had chosen my words a little more carefully. Alex had been close to his mother, and I knew that losing her must have been devastating for him, his brothers, and even his wretched father. That helped explain why Sean was living in Costa Rica now though.
I exited the stable and looked at the list once more, double checking that I had looked at all the mares who needed examining. There was a note toward the bottom that was written in Alex’s chicken scratch.
“Check Pineapple. Stallion got loose. Doubtful, but needs checking. Yearling.”
I went to the appropriate stable and walked down the aisle until I came to a stall with a beautiful golden coated young filly. I could tell she was a little skittish from the start, but she warmed to me quickly. A sweet thing, I hoped that Alex’s concerns were unwarranted. It wasn’t an ideal situation to have a foal from a young horse like this, but it did happen sometimes.
Instead of checking her manually I pulled out some of my equipment and positioned it where I could get a good listen to what was going on in her uterus. An early pregnancy wasn’t something that could be detected easily this way, but if she was very far along then, I would be able to hear the second heartbeat.
And there it was, clear as a bell and almost immediate. I looked at her body, and while some people thought it was ridiculous to be able to tell from looking at a horse if she was carrying this early, I had always felt like I noticed the subtle changes. Someone who was around the horse every day would have a better eye for it, but even I could see this and apparent
ly Alex had his suspicions as well. Pineapple was definitely pregnant.