Shattered (Extreme Risk 2)

Little do they know that I’ve probably smoked more weed than all of them put together. The fact that mine came with a doctor’s note, to battle the effects of chemotherapy and help me keep food—any food—down, is completely irrelevant.

I sink down onto the bench next to Luc, and try not to freak out at the way Ash is staring at me. Like he doesn’t know who I am or what I’m doing here. I concentrate on Luc instead, on the false sense of security the weed has given me.

Luc holds the joint up to me and I know I should pass—two hits is enough for now—but Ash is too close and I still feel too much. I take the cigarette, take one more hit before passing it to Ophelia, who’s sitting on my other side, curled into Z’s lap.

She takes it, holds it up to his lips, but he shakes his head and buries his face in her wild curls. She grins a little as she passes the joint on to Cam.

“I love boarding Arpa,” Luc tells me. He tugs at me a little, until my knees are curled up to my chest and my back rests against his side. “Good call, Tansy.”

“It was all Z. I was pretty much along for the ride on this one. He had it all planned out.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” Ash mutters, and he sounds more than a little bitter. Not that I really blame him. We did all but bully him into this trip.

“Get over it already, man.” Cam shoves at his shoulder. “There are way worse things to be doing right now than hanging in the Andes, getting ready to board some of the sickest mountains in existence.”

“I’m over it,” he answers, but even all the way over here, across the fire pit from him, I can see the way his jaw clenches. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Before anyone can answer, the waitress comes with a second round of drinks. “I ordered you a glass of wine,” Luc tells me. “But if you want something else—”

“No, this is great.” I reach for the pink wine gratefully. I’ve never ordered a drink anywhere before and this gives me a little bit of a breather. A chance to figure things out without making an even bigger ass of myself.

I take a sip, and am pleasantly surprised at how sweet and smooth it is. My parents are dry red wine drinkers and it always burns the back of my throat when I have a glass of it at home. This is so much better.

“So, where are we starting tomorrow?” Cam asks after the waitress leaves. “I want to do a couple runs before hitting the half-pipe—”

“No half-pipe,” Z tells her, his hand absently stroking Ophelia’s inner thigh. For the first time, I notice the way Cam is watching them, the little twist of her lips as Z gently rubs his thumb back and forth.

What is it with these guys, I can’t help wondering. It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have to keep my eyes off Ash and Cam seems to be having the same problem with Z—even though he’s obviously completely gone over Ophelia. Of course, the second Cam catches me looking, she jerks her eyes away, takes a long swig of her beer straight from the bottle.

Behind me, I feel Luc tense a little, his arm tightening around my shoulders. But when I glance up at him, he looks totally chill. Totally cool, despite the fact that his body is like a rock against mine.

God, the group dynamics here are more than a little messed up. I mean, I’ve only been around them a day or so and even I can tell they’d take a bullet for each other. Their friendship and loyalty is obvious in the easy camaraderie, in the way they can communicate with each other without saying a word. In the way they’ve all rallied around Ash and Logan like there’s nowhere else they’d rather be than right here, with them.

But there’s more here. A weird tension that snakes through it all, so subtle that I’m not even sure they’re aware of it. But I’m on the outside looking in and I can’t help but see it. Especially since I’ve spent so much of my life sitting in a hospital bed or on a park bench or at a table in the mall, just watching people. Just watching as the world passed me by.

“It’s been almost two years since we boarded the Andes,” Z continues. “The cornices here are fucking amazing. I want to lay down some sick lines tomorrow on Tarapaca and Concho y Toro—”

“Fuck, yeah,” Luc says before taking a sip of his beer. “I’m all about Saracorchos. That fucking avalanche run is sick. I talked to the guide a little while ago—he says conditions are going off.”

“Avalanche?” My stomach turns at the thought. “They have a run that causes avalanches?”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Luc says with a laugh, pulling me closer. His fingers are rubbing gently against my shoulder and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I’m not uncomfortable, but it’s nothing special. Luc could be my brother for all the heat I’m feeling.

At least until Ash looks at me, with heavy-lidded eyes and a frown on his face. Then I nearly burn up as electricity rips along every nerve ending I’ve got.

“Yeah,” Cam tells me. “We boarded it a dozen or so times the last time we were here and it was front.”

Ophelia’s looking at Z, though, lips pursed and eyes narrowed. “Seriously? There aren’t enough other runs out there? You need to take an avalanche trail? That’s crazy! That’s—”

He pulls her face to his and kisses her quiet. Luc laughs and Ash just shakes his head, obviously amused. Cam, however, looks like she’s been run over by a semi. For just a second anyway, before her face and eyes go completely blank.

Yeah, there’s definitely something there.

The waitress stops by to take another order and I realize, a little surprised, that my glass is empty. I ask for another one and Luc looks pleased. “I’m glad you liked the wine,” he whispers in my ear, while the others give their orders.

“I debated what to get you.”

“It was perfect,” I whisper back.