He looked back over his shoulder and shrugged a little, his eyes almost laughing, driving me crazy. “Could be,” he said. “Or maybe I just don’t care enough to pay attention to that.”
“I guess you let Neal handle it then.”
He made some vague gesture and went off to check the other offices. I let him go, since following now would only lead to an argument. I walked over to the windows and leaned against the sill, staring down at the parking lot below as I gathered myself. I hated when he called me Judey and when he brought up the past, but it was inevitable. As much as I wanted to ignore what had happened between us, it had happened, and we might as well accept that it was there, lurking beneath every interaction.
I wished I could erase it all, but that wasn’t how life worked. I’d have those scars, each and every day.
I walked back out into the main room and tried to picture the space filled with people and desks, and felt a strange sort of stabbing pain in my stomach, a mix between excitement and pure fear. I was in way over my head, and I didn’t fully understand why Lady Fluke chose me for this job—though I didn’t fully understand why Lady Fluke did almost anything she did. For a woman that seemed utterly buttoned-up and formal, she had an extremely strange work style that was more fluid and intuitive than anything else. I tried to imagine myself managing a bunch of people, and felt utterly lost, drowned under the sheer weight of unknowns.
Bret banged around in one of the offices then poked his head out. “Maybe having one of these won’t be so bad,” he said. “A good view’s really distracting anyway.”
“Oh, right, you’re so generous, taking one for the team,” I said.
He nodded sagely. “Exactly. I want you to be happy.”
I felt a sudden inrush of longing and anger, and I crossed my arms over my chest, hugging myself as I watched him, and he frowned a bit and leaned against the doorframe.
“I know this is a crazy thing to ask,” I said, avoiding his stare, “but do you know what you’re doing?”
“Not really,” he said.
I let out a shocked laugh. I expected him to puff up his chest and give me some macho answer about how he was born to manage big companies and that he bled corporate policy or something insane, but that threw me off.
“I thought you were supposed to be the expert here,” I said.
“Honestly, I’m not,” he said, making a little ‘oh, well’ gesture. I gaped at him and didn’t know if I should laugh or scream my head off. “Truthfully, the last company I set up was my own, and that was piecemeal and over a long period. I have no clue what we’re going to do about this place.”
“Bret,” I said, staring open-mouthed. “You’re joking, right?”
“Not at all,” he said. “I wish I was. But hey, we’ll figure it out together.”
“This isn’t the sort of thing you just— you just figure out,” I said, walking toward him, trying to keep my voice calm and totally failing. “Do you have any clue what sort of company structure we’re going to have? How many people we’ll need in HR? That number you threw out earlier, it was totally made up, wasn’t it?”
He tilted his head. “Pretty much,” he said, “but it sounds like you have a pretty good idea of what we need.”
“Oh my god,” I said, throwing my hands up. “You’re useless. After all this, you’re actually useless.”
“I’m not so bad,” he said, eyes narrowing slightly. “I know you think you’re a genius, Judey—”
“Stop calling me that,” I snapped, which made him smile, and I hated myself for taking his bait.
“—but you’re not the smartest person in this room,” he finished.
“Oh, of course,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You went to college so you’re so smart.”
“You went to college too,” he pointed out. “And no, that’s not why I think I’m smarter than you.”
“You’re such an asshole,” I said, losing it completely. I felt like I’d just regressed back to my high school self, and I couldn’t help it.
Bret pulled it out of me, bit by bit. He knew exactly how to push my buttons and how to piss me off. The messed-up thing was, I couldn’t say for sure if he actually didn’t know what he was doing, or if he just said that to drive me insane. Either one could be true, and neither situation made me feel better.
“You’ve always been like this, you know,” he said, coming toward me, his eyes narrowed, but a little smile on his handsome lips. “Convinced you know what’s right. That’s why you can’t let go of your stupid grudge against me.”