I groaned and put a hand on my massive belly. I knew that pregnant women could get big, but I felt absolutely monstrous. The idea that a child was growing inside of me hadn’t quite sunk in yet, but it was starting to become clear that one day soon I’d give birth, and I’d be a mom, and my whole world would change.
But for now, I was still the head of Biscuit America, and I wanted to hear how the cookies came out.
“You might as well come in and sit down,” I said, waving at a chair. “Because I’m not leaving.”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t come in. “I figured as much,” she said, “which is why I called in the cavalry.” She turned aside to reveal Bret standing in the hall behind her with a bouquet of flower and a huge grin.
I struggled to my feet. “Bret,” I said.
He rushed over to help me. I hated when he did that—and sort of loved it. I was capable of standing on my own, but he was so protective of me that he couldn’t bear to see me struggle. He put the flowers down and helped me up, then let me kiss him.
“Thought I’d surprise you,” he said. “When Lisa told me you were hovering over your phone, I made the trip over.”
“Thank you, Lisa,” I said, but she’d already disappeared. I sighed then kissed Bret and let him hug me, though my stupid belly got in the way.
“Come on,” he said, and took me to the couch. He lowered me down and sat next to me. “How are you feeling?”
“Anxious,” I said. “Fine otherwise. Baby’s been kicking all day. I think he knows how much I want this to work out.”
“It will,” he said, confident to the end, even though he wasn’t involved in the biscuit company anymore. Bret had his own company and his own job, and business was very good lately. Our life was accelerating forward, on a wild path that didn’t seem to be slowing down. We got married a year earlier, and I got pregnant not too long after that, and now I was about to burst, and waiting for some freaking cookies to bake.
“I’m not sure I’m going to be able to handle maternity leave,” I said softly. “Does that make me a bad mom?”
“Not at all,” he said, touching my face. “I think you’ll change your mind once you see the baby, and if you don’t? That’s okay, too. You can have a job and be a great mother. There’s no rule against it.”
“I know,” I said, and leaned my head against his shoulder. I struggled with guilt sometimes over whether I should stay with the company or not, but I couldn’t let it go. I hoped my children would understand that one day. It wasn’t that I thought women should all be full-time mothers—but only that I wanted to be a better mother than my own mother, and there was a part of me that thought I had to be around all the time in order to do it.
Bret helped a lot with that. He kept reminding me that all I needed to do was stay sober and stay away from pills, and I’d be better than my mother ever was.
I hoped he was right.
He kissed me and was about to say something when the phone rang. I tried to spring to my feet, and only managed to wiggle a little bit awkwardly.
“Bret!” I hissed. “Help!”
He laughed and pulled me up. I waddled to my desk, cursing the whole way, and grabbed the receiver before it went to voicemail. “Hello?” I said.
My factory foreman, Roger, spoke quickly. “Cookies came out great. Gotta go back and oversee some more stuff, but seriously, Jude, they’re just like the test kitchen. Really, really good. You should be proud.”
“Thank you,” I said, and felt an insane flood of relief.
“See you later.” He hung up.
I put the phone back down and turned to Bret. “Well?” he asked.
“They’re good,” I said, grinning. “They’re really good.”
We hugged, and he kissed me. I lingered in that kiss, in my husband, in the man that got away, that broke my heart then came back to put it together again. I held him tight and felt the baby stir—and knew that I’d be a good mom, no matter what, because I’d love him with all my heart, the same way I loved Bret, and maybe more.
“Are you ready to go home?” he asked. “I have a lot of activities planned, and they all revolve around pampering you.”
“God, I love you,” I said.
He grinned and touched my cheek. “I love you too. Now come on. Let’s get out of here before you find some paperwork that just has to be done right this second.”
I logged out of my computer, grabbed my stuff, and let him take me away from my job, back to my other life, to the baby that’d come soon, to my future family, and my joy.