Ilano turned for the stairs. His men kept their weapons trained on Maya and Tim as they followed until the door closed behind them. The turn of the key sounded unnaturally loud in the space.
Hanging her head, she sat down on her heels.
“On your feet,” Tim said, taking a step toward her, his arms wide and his fingers flexed.
She flinched at the coldness of his voice. “Tim, I—”
“I said, on your feet.”
Fighting her weakness, she got up slowly. She stumbled, but found her balance and faced him squarely. She deserved his wrath, but he deserved hers too. She lied to him, betrayed him in the worst possible way, but she did it to protect people, to save lives. He lied to deal arms.
Taking off his jacket, he hung it over her shoulders. “Cover yourself.” He waited until she’d pulled it on and buttoned it up before he continued. “When were you going to tell me?”
“I tried to, but Ilano interrupted me.”
He took another step toward her, backing her up against the wall. “How long were you planning on using me?”
She briefly closed her eyes and then gave him the truth. “For as long as needed to destroy the arms you’re smuggling.”
His laugh was hard. “The night we met, it was a setup.”
“Yes.”
“Ilano didn’t kidnap you from my house, did he?”
“No. I climbed through the window and took a taxi to Puerto Viejo to complete my mission. Ilano’s men intercepted me.”
“Who do you work for?”
She shook her head. “You know how it works, Tim. I can’t tell you.”
He grabbed his head between his hands, the tip of the knife pointing at the ceiling. “I wish you trusted me. I wish you’d told me.”
Silenced stretched between them.
After a moment, he asked with eerie calm, “What were your orders?” When she didn’t reply, he shouted, “Tell me!”
She looked away, but he gripped her chin and turned her face back to him.
“It’s like that, is it?” he said with icy disdain.
He waited, the hope in his eyes almost her undoing, and then disappointment clouded those brown pools. He grabbed her wrist, yanked her arm up, and pushed the shaft of the knife into her palm. “Want to finish it?”
When he let go of her arm, it fell to her side, her fingers clutched around the knife. Her hand shook so much it was hard to keep a grip. Bloody tremors. They’d grown worse. She blinked to clear her blurring vision. Pain from the withdrawal contracted her gut, but the ache in her heart hurt worse.
She looked up at him. “I betrayed you, Tim, but you deceived me.”
“Everything was a lie, wasn’t it?” he asked softly.
She jumped as he slammed his fist into the wall, causing bits of plaster to rain down to the floor. “Fuck, Maya. How could you? How could you make me believe what we had was real?”
She licked her dry lips. The beat of her heart fell with dull thuds in her chest.
Placing his palms on the wall on either side of her face, he rested his forehead against hers. “Why?” The word sounded like a cry wrenched from his soul. “Why?”
When he lifted his head again, his expression was haunted. “I gave you everything I had. I trusted you.”
“I wasn’t the only one. You lied to me too.”
“I fucking love you!”
She shook her head. “You love the idea of us, Tim.”
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare tell me how I feel. I’m not Darren. I don’t need to lie to myself.”
The pain, physically and emotionally, was overwhelming. Perspiration broke out on her upper lip. A wave of nausea washed over her, the cold sweat spreading rapidly over her skin.
She tightened her grip on the shaft of the knife. “You have to get away. My team is on their way to find Ilano.”
“Tell me you need me.”
She needed him all right, but it could never work. They were on different sides of the fence, and she was too tired to carry on. For the first time in her life, she was tired of fighting.
“Please, go now. Go while you can.”
“Say it.” Tim grabbed her shoulders. “Say it, damn you!” When she remained silent, the grip of his fingers slackened in a gesture of defeat. “Look at you, Maya. You’re a shaking mess, and still you won’t admit that you need me.”
Gathering her strength, she squared her shoulders. “I know you won’t believe me, but all I want is your safety. Go. You know my history. I can’t live with an arms dealer, and I won’t live with this addiction.”
“You’d rather die?” His eyes flared, taking on a red tint. “I’d turn you before I see that happen, do you hear me?”
“It’s not your decision to make!” It took every ounce of energy she had left to shove him hard enough to make him stumble a step back. “You have to get the hell out of here. Now.”