“I’m nervous,” I say.
“About the store?” Julian sounds confused.
I nod.
He cups my shoulders in his big hands and gives them a good squeeze. “Don’t be. You got this. And I’ll help you in any way I can.”
I touch his right hand, and his warmth leeches into my skin. We stay this way for a minute, not speaking and enjoying this moment together. But after I catch a pointed look from Carla, I snap out of it.
“Okay,” I say, moving behind the espresso maker. “Time to show you the basics of making a latte. Then, we’ll move on to the harder drinks.”
“I hate the smell of coffee,” he says, his nose wrinkled in disgust.
“Our apartment is going to smell like it with this new business. Or at least until I can figure out a better way to package and distribute it.”
“It reminds me too much of my dad,” he confesses with a dejected look on his handsome face.
“Is he still calling you every day begging you to talk to him?”
He nods. “Yeah, but I’m done with him. He won’t change. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve wasted enough of my life trying to gain his approval. And after he treated you like trash, I could never let him back into my life.”
“I would do anything to see my dad one more time,” I say. “You should see if he’s willing to change.”
He sighs. “After everything he did, you would give him another chance?”
“I gave you one. Look how that turned out. And he’s your dad. I know he’s a giant asshole, but maybe now that you’ve stood up to him, and he has no control over you, he’ll start acting more like a father, or even a friend.”
Julian laughs. “I wouldn’t count on that.”
“I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a dad who’s an asshole, but I know firsthand that not having him at all will hurt more. Knowing my dad won’t be at my wedding to walk me down the aisle kills me. As much as I hate your father, I want you to have a relationship with him at some point, even if it’s just limited interactions with him.”
“This is one of the many reasons why I love you.”
I smile up at him. “You don’t have to let him back in right away. But you could still have some kind of relationship with him. I can’t deny you something I’ve wanted for most of my life just because he did something awful.”
“He won’t change,” Julian says.
“Then, at least you can say you tried one last time.”
“Hockey needs to work out.”
“I hope you get drafted,” I say. “I hope all of the sacrifices you made to be with me will be worth it and that you at least get a pro hockey contract out of all of this.”
He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever happens, I can take it.”
“I know. I might not like hockey or understand it, but I still want that for you. I want a lot of things for you. I don’t want you to give up anything you love to be with me.”
“Have I told you lately that you’re the best girlfriend ever?” He says the words against the shell of my ear, causing me to shiver.
His words bring a wicked smile to my face. “Only every day for the last few weeks.”
My biggest fear is losing Julian again. The road ahead of us won’t be a picnic for him. He’s not used to working for chump change and barely scraping by. He still lives in the hockey whorehouse with his teammates for another week until graduation. We’re planning to move in together but neither of us has money.
“What are we going to do? We have nowhere to live next week.”
“Don’t worry about the future. I have everything covered,” he promises. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve that you don’t know about.”
“Is that so? I thought we share everything.”