“Leave the poor boy alone, Carl,” my mother says, leaning over the hood of the car and shaking her head at my father in disapproval. They have this fight every time.
He glances in her direction and shoots her a pointed look. “You don’t get to where Tyler is in his career and stay there without the proper structure. The boy needs to work hard if he wants that paycheck, and maybe he’ll even win us a Stanley Cup.”
Not this shit again. Every time my parents start up over my career, it turns into a fight that my mother never wins, even though she tries her hardest to prove my dad wrong.
“Hi,” Payton says in her singsong voice, coming up from behind my father. ‘How are all of you doing on this beautiful Sunday afternoon?”
Most of the time, it eats me alive to be in the same proximity as her, but at this moment, her int
rusion is a welcome relief. I cannot have another conversation about my career or the shitty season with my father again. For the brief periods we do speak, he chooses to spend the time ripping apart my game or the team, telling me I can do better and pull our team out of the gutter.
He thinks I am the key to the Flyers winning the Stanley Cup. I hate to break it to him, but we are nowhere near the Cup with our current roster, regardless of my talent. And just because he’s a real fan that believes in his team that doesn’t mean miracles are about to happen if he wishes hard enough or prods me to death.
“Oh, we’re wonderful, dear,” Mom says to Payton. “How was your drive?”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles, revealing a set of white teeth just as perfect as the rest of her appearance. “I hit a bit of traffic coming into New York, but overall, it wasn’t too bad. Noah likes the bridge so being stuck on it ended up working out for us.”
I can’t help but stare at Payton. Even after our lives had changed forever, she was still like a ray of sunshine, always smiling and full of life. She could light up a room with the aura she gives off. On the other hand, I was and still am a miserable fuck who deserved to lose her in the end. But I still hate her or at least resent her for the permanent damage she did to my heart and my life.
“Hey, Ty,” Payton says with a wide grin, holding her hand up to her face to shield her eyes from the sun, her grip slipping on Noah once he sees my mother on the other side of the car.
“Hey,” I mutter, keeping my distance.
Noah says hello to me and then runs over to my mother who has her arms open wide, ready to lift him up and into one of her bear hugs. For someone who is so good with kids, my mother should have been more on my side when it had come to Blake. But we both allowed my father to make our decisions for us, only to regret it after I had signed the papers and it was too late.
My father joins them on the sidewalk, playing in the driveway with some toy Noah has in his hand. I’m just happy he has a distraction.
“You don’t look too hot.” Payton closes the distance between us, and the choking sensation that creeps up the back of my throat threatens to suffocate me. “I heard about your season ending early.”
Around her, the air is denser and harder to breathe. Despite how many years we have repeated this encounter in front of this very house, it never gets easier for me. Unlike Payton, I am unable to move on from the past.
“It didn’t end early,” I correct, annoyed that she still does not understand how the seasons work after all these years. “We played all eighty-two games, same as always. We just missed out on the playoffs.”
“Oh, well, you know what I mean.” She shrugs it off, nonchalant. “How are you doing otherwise? Are you sleeping? You look tired.”
She reaches out to touch my face, and I take a step back. “I’m fine. Can you not pretend like you’re my girlfriend and that you still care and just do what we need to do right now. Blake is waiting.”
“This is not some obligation anyone is forcing on you.” Her expression darkens from her usual sunshine and light, the storm brewing beneath her eyes. “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to be, and we both know you would never miss a date with Blake.”
“I wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for you,” I say under my breath, but she hears me and grinds her teeth together.
“You made the decision, Tyler. We did it together. When are you going to accept it and move on?” She doesn’t stop long enough to allow me to respond. “Blake has two parents who love him so much that they let us be part of his life. He has a normal life because of them. We had no money and nothing to offer him. It hurts me just as much as you.”
“You have a family. I have nothing. So, don’t act like you know what I am going through, what it’s like to be me, because you have no clue.”
She narrows her eyes at me, the two of us in a mental face-off. If this were a hockey game, I would win this no problem. But Payton has a way of creeping into my mind, body, and heart and destroying me from the inside out.
“Are you kids ready?” My father calls out, shielding his eyes from the mid-afternoon sun.
“Yes, we’re coming,” Payton announces, the smile already back on her face. She turns to me for a second, her mouth twisted in disgust. “Noah and Blake have a play date. Please don’t ruin this for them.”
“I would never think of it,” I spit back.
Following behind Payton, Noah, and my parents, I make an attempt to turn my frown upside down and find it almost impossible until my father knocks on the door and it swings open a few seconds later. Blake answers in a black-and-white striped tracksuit, a big smile on his face when he sees me.
“Uncle Tyler,” Blake calls out to me, and I almost break down and cry. His words gut me.
“Hey, buddy,” I manage to choke out, the pain of this situation killing me, same as it does every month.